I (32m) asked if the video portion of the calls is mandatory, or if I could just call in audio only. They replied that it is strongly encouraged if at all possible.

I have dysphoria (I'm transgender) that is very severe when I see myself on a screen or in a mirror. I have avoided team pictures at the risk of termination at other companies. I don't use a photo for my email or our team chat app.

I also have a history of a stalker stealing my phone and sending all of my photos to their phone. To this day I believe they still are in possession of those images. To make matters worse they are pre-transition photos and I have no recourse for taking them away from that person.

I have a strong history of social anxiety. After my last stomach ulcer (from work related stress) I switched to this job because I can telecommute whenever I need to. Now I'm only seen by people when I don't mind it.

I feel like now the only way to avoid my whole team seeing me on their phones is to make a big deal out of something they'd all see as small. I'm very worried these calls are going to be regular for a while. How can I tell my boss I don't want to do a "strongly encouraged" task without bringing up that it is highly stressful to me?

I don't discuss being trans with them, but I don't pass 100% of the time so I'm sure they're all aware now. I don't discuss my anxiety disorder, but my boss and subordinate know I have a weekly Dr appointment.

Tl;Dr I'm anxious to the point of physical symptoms over upcoming regular video calls at work. I have social anxiety over "being seen" against my will. I'm not sure how to tell them without upsetting them or turning it into a huge deal.

Thanks for any help at all, guys.