UPDATE..... FOUND OUT SHE IS AND HAS BEEN LYING SHE WANTS OUT AND WANTS ME TO PAY FOR RENTAL WE LIVE IN TILL AUG IM MOVING TO SC END OF WEEK IM DONE. LIES N MORE LIES FOR 5 YEARS.

After 5 years in the swinging lifestyle my wife met a man who is married and in a poly triad with his wife and her boyfriend. They all live together.

After seeing him n her she announced to be she wants a poly relationship with him.

I now do not interact with them now, had told them before I burned the bridge that please call her a FWB, call her "my special friend" just not your g/f. Always since starting in the lifestyle I was willing to share her, everything but a "love" connection.

I was an asshole and burned the bridge with the triad, I felt they were not respecting what I preferred and wanted....I felt 5th wheel. After I burned the bridge, I was correct, he told me fuck your rules I'm sick of them plus he threatened to come here and kick my ass.

I felt/feel betrayed that it was poly was 'sprung' on me. Even after my wife and I had discussed that he was "looking for a girl friend" after 3rd time fucking, and I did not want that. She said no he wasn't. Oh my god I was so right.

I feel I am basically being forced into accepting this or lose my wife, another thing of resentment.

Now she wants to go visit him on his job sites 200 miles away for weekend which I really do not have a problem with AND go on an expensive vacation with the triad and wants US to pay for it. She wants to call him when we have plans instead of messaging him, he pings her while we are in bed, saying goodnight and whatever else. They are sexting, its the whole new relationship thing.

She now has asked them to pay for the ticket and she would pay them back 100 every two weeks (finances are not joined, we transfer money to my account to pay joint bills)....he added her to his room there so that expense 2500 I don't know where she is getting that money although she wants to put on her amex at 25.9% interest we have to pay for which already has a high balance....

They met in October. And the poly announcement came last month Jan.

I have for 20 years to not have resentments and do not know how to get through this.

I feel slighted, and I am not against poly just want inclusion and consideration for my feelings which isn't happening. There is NO chance of the triad and me at this point I have burned it down.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks beardeditalian