I’m 24F and I honestly should’ve seen this coming from a mile away.

I started talking to this guy I met at work, we both worked at the same place. We talked for about 2 and a half months before he said he wasn’t ready to get back into a relationship, he had gotten out of a long on & off relationship about 4 months ago. So after a few months go by of us not texting we start talking again and we actually get more serious. I was really pumped because this was the first guy I’ve actually been attracted to and we had a lot in common. Dude is cute af and I had a crush on him when I first started working there.

Things were going really great but then he started texting less and less, by the end of the month he was hardly saying anything at all. Then it was nothing. I refused to be that overwhelming clingy person, I mean I’m already so awkward since it’s my first relationship so I didn’t wanna freak him out with constant messages. When he didn’t respond, then I wouldn’t text. After a week I would text or send a meme and when he stopped saying more than ‘lol’ I gave up.

It’s been about 3 months now, I’ve heard from him a handful of times but he acts like we were never more than acquaintances at work. It fucking pisses me off. I actually started to love the dude (he even said it to me first!) and it hurts that I didn’t even get an explanation as to why he just disappeared. I even let him touch my boobs. I’ve heard from other coworkers that he was going back to the person mentioned earlier, obviously getting laid, which makes me think that was the reason he dropped me. He wasn’t getting any from me so he, maybe in a moment of weakness, slept with her? I mean if he would’ve given it another week or two I probably would’ve slept with him. Which makes me even more angry because I’m sure that had I fucked him beforehand he most likely still would drop me.

I don’t know anything and I want to message him so bad to just say ‘what the fuck man?’ I want to hate the guy but i can’t convince myself to, probably because I want to think that he is going to start talking to me again. Should I do it, would it give me closure? Because what if he didn’t go back to that girl, that it’s just rumors? What if he was just freaked because it got serious and backed off?

I watched my brother go back and forth with this one girlfriend for years. Every time they would break up he would find a new girl, date her, be happy with her but then dump her to go back to that same toxic relationship. Having watched that and criticized him for it, I should’ve seen the red flags in getting with the guy I did but damn I loved it and I’m fucking torn up.

TL/DR Should I message the guy that more or less ghosted me asking for an explanation or avoid the risk of him blowing smoke up my ass?

I apologize for my grammar mistakes, English is my first language and I grew up in AL, USA.