Hey all, I need some advice. I(29m) am in love with my best friend(32f). However, she says we could never be more because of how we met. Here is the story.

I met my best friend Alice through a friend of mine named John. I was good friends with John and he started dating Alice about 4 years ago. John lived in my town and Alice would come visit and we would always hang out. I was the only friend of Johns that Alice enjoyed being around. They ended up moving in together and moving about 3 hours away to the city. My friendship with John started to wane because of the distance but I would go out and visit every few months and always stay with them. They ended up getting a dog together and when I got a dog we would visit more.

About a year and a half ago, they broke up and Alice was devastated. He cheated and broke her heart and she was a mess. At this time I wasn’t speaking to either very much. A few months after that, her dog got diagnosed with heart failure. My puppy was diagnosed with heart failure when I got him and they both knew that. She reached out to me for support and knowledge about dealing with a dog with heart failure. We started talking and would have the puppies visit frequently. I did not talk much with John by this time but we both agreed to not let him know we were talking so much. This was about 15 months ago.

When this started, we both said that we shouldn’t do anything because it would be a shady thing to do. At the time it was easy to come to that agreement. However, 15 months later and we are best friends. We talk all day everyday. Our puppies are miracle survivors and are over a year past their life expectancy. We go on trips together and spent the holidays together. I’ve helped her with her dating woes and she has helped with mine. It wasn’t until this last holiday that we spent 2 weeks together in a cabin with the dogs that I realized I’m actually in love with her.

I don’t have much experience with relationships having only been in 2 and I was a virgin until I was 27. I do know though that I’ve never been in love before with either of them and that what I feel towards Alice is significant. However, she has told me many times in our relationship that “I would totally have dated you if we met a different way” “I would have definitely approached if I saw you at the bar” “I would have rocked your world if we didn’t meet through John” it’s clear to me that she still holds to this and I respect that. I wasn’t planning to tell her until November if we are both still single but am terrified of ruining the friendship. I’m 95% sure I’ll be ok if she rejects it and be able to continue as is. I’m worried that she might no be ok though and I don’t know if the risk is worth it.

Can the way we met really make it so she would never give me a shot? Even though she has said so many times she needs to meet a person just like me? I get it in the beginning but I don’t see as a complete block to ever being able to try a relationship with someone with such incredible compatibility. Especially when I haven’t spoken to John in over a year!

Thanks for reading what do you think?

TL;DR

I met my best friend over 2 years ago while she was dating my friend. When they broke up, we started our friendship saying it wouldn’t go further because we met via my friend. 15 months later and she still thinks that.