We get along really well, when she's in the mood. We are both travel and foodie junkies and enjoy a lot of that together. We are into self improvement and always discussing ways to grow, sharing a positive mindset. We laugh a lot together and are really comfortable being weird with each other. She says she's a low energy person and needs alone time to recoup. Understood, but I'm unsure of how someone can act so strange as if they were totally a different person?

I've a pretty high sex drive, and I've let her known that although that's NOT the only thing I seek from her (I actually really look forward to seeing and spending time with her), touch really means a lot to me especially from the person I'm seeing and care about. I also find her really attractive, and I have expressed how I want to make her feel so by making sure she knows I'm into her hence why my drive with her is high. I've also discussed with her it'd be nice if she initiated at time to which she says I initiate everytime, not giving her a chance to do so. This isn't the case, because even when she does initiate, and things are heating up, somehow the steering is handed to me and made it seem like we're doing it because I want it. It's then that she just becomes silent, and distant and will not respond/ indulge in a conversation when I want to talk about it.

Thing is, it's a very vulnerable thing for me to be comfortable enough with someone to paw them about what I feel and want, and no reciprocation/respect makes me very self conscious. I feel physically & emotionally alienated, not because I want her to say yes when she says no. I'm actually VERY advocative of consent and always ask her to tell me exactly how she feels and what she wants (at times during things heating up I'd ask her if she wants to have sex and she says 'I don't really care bc I'm not in the mood anymore but if you want it you can have a go', to which I have no response but to just stop because that's not who I am). She has said several times given it's hard for her to find people attractive, I'm one of the few people she finds really attractive. Although, I struggle to feel so, since she doesn't really compliment me or express her feelings. Everything good is 'nice' to her, whereas I appreciate the fuck outta everything. It's a hassle trying to get her to like something I like, although anything she likes I am all in finding things to appreciate of it. She also recently suggested how she thinks we're seeing each other 'too much'.

She also talks a lot about her previous sexual experiences, in which she's mostly the one initiating and having a high sexual drive, and a great time as she describes them... I've been trying to grow in that area by not feeling jealous (since everyone has a past and who cares about that when she's with me now) and be more accepting of that since I consider it her comfortability with me that she feels ok to share them with me without judgement and I get to learn what she likes.

I've been forced to do some heavy thinking. It's happened more often than not that suddenly she goes low energy and just becomes silent (whether or not during us getting sexual), or is on her phone a lot (which I also consider disrespectful), which makes it seem like she's not even there. She is on birth control (she says it makes her less cranky), and works 2 jobs, which I'm super understanding of and thus want to be there as a support and not another energy drain.

I've been thinking of just not initiating anymore. Any idea what's going on here? What is it that I'm missing?

Tl;dr: my girlfriend makes me feel physically and emotionally alienated. Won't talk about it. Doesn't put in effort when she's not in the mood (which is the case v often)