I have been in this relationship for a little less than three years now. There’s a lot of good things about this relationship. We make each other laugh, we have similar desires for the future, we are affectionate, and we have good sexual chemistry.

The problems for me lies in the fact that we don’t have any real shared interests. I’ve tried to share my interests with her (going to concerts, going to sporting events and showing her music/tv I like) she’ll tolerate it for the most part, but never gets excited for it. She has similarly shared her interests, but I have trouble getting excited for them as well.

It is nice that we have our own space to do things in, however I feel like I’m missing out on enjoying one of my favorite things with the person I love. This doesn’t have to be something I already love, I would be glad to find something new that we both love. It’s just been three years and that hasn’t happened.

This has caused me to be unsure about our relationship for a while. I figured that the longer we were together that those mutual connections would form, but they haven’t yet. I feel like I should know whether or not I want to marry this person by now, but I don’t. Some days I look in her eyes and think how amazing everything is, and other days I fantasize about a life being single and meeting women at the weird rock concerts I like to attend.

This came to a head two days ago when I was out with a buddy of mine. He’s been divorced twice, but seems to have found a really perfect partner for him. When I was talking about these doubts with him, he said it reminded him of his second wife. While he loved her he felt wasn’t as happy as he could be.

Last night I brought this up with my partner, it was a very hard conversation. I didn’t make a final decision yet because I feel so conflicted. She said she was willing to work on this stuff and be more open to my interests. While our relationship isn’t perfect there’s a lot of good things about it. I’m worried I’m throwing away a good relationship to find some perfect relationship that might not exist. I’m also worried that I’ll make the leap of faith to get married and still be having these thoughts until it becomes too much.

Thank you for any advice, we’re gonna talk more tonight.