Tldr: MIL told my Husband and their family about my assault after stealing my journal where I wrote about it in detail and how it caused my infertility. Hubby and I are solid. She then texted everyone pictures of the things written in my journal and said she was doing the Christian thing.

Hi guys, I just wanted to give you a quick update about a post I made 5 days ago on here. You were very kind to me. Thank you. It got locked and deleted because I had the wrong username so I've just made another account and added the "throwRA" to my normal username LullabelleAnabelle, so I can make a quick update for this subreddit. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to link to my post because I posted it on another subreddit too. A lot of you suggested I go to the mother in law subreddit which was also a big help. Thank you everyone. You're wonderful.

To clear a few things you enquired about and to just speak about my wonderful partner a little more (if I may). I'm not American, European born and raised, but my husband is and we live here. We met at his friend's wedding where I did the bride's makeup (I'm a wedding mua), and he drunkenly told me during the reception that she looked a bit like a chucky doll (she didn't, and he still doesn't know or care what blusher is). We had some serious words, mostly where I told him to stfu, and then he invited me to dinner as a way of apologising for being an ass and I fell hard. And you guys are so right, he is the best person I have ever met. He's a serious, stoic, super focused and quiet kind of guy, doesn't really speak or smile until he needs to but he's so sarcastic and funny and charming and just so sweet and kind. And he says that he really enjoys my giddy chatterbox. So I think I'll need to hold onto him because that type of patience is rare. He's just my world.

It hasn't been easy. A few things have happened and I can't honestly say that I'm better off for it. But I'm trying. Again, really not a troll post. I'm not creative enough to write something that fantastical. This is all true and a little bit long so im sorry for that.

I didn't know how to tell him. Or what I wanted to tell him. A bunch of you said to show him this page or my diary but those were my private thoughts, I didn't want to show him ever. So, I told him I could show him the details of the court transcripts and my medical records. They aren't particularly easy to read. Those men weren't very nice to me. They had found me walking through a park near my house in the evening and grabbed me and pulled me behind one of the paths where a lot of trees and bushes were. And they had gone to jail.

He got really upset and told me that he didn't care what any of those pieces of paper said, he knew instantly that his mother was lying and just spewing bullshit. That I didn't have to work up the courage to tell him anything about my past if I didn't want to, he'd never thought for a second I was ever hiding anything from him that would ruin our relationship. He'd always known there was something because of the way my anxiety would come out and my nightmares and struggles during intimacy at times, but he would never have pushed the issue. He wanted me to feel safe with him and he trusted me completely. He said he was so scared that I would leave, especially after offering him a divorce. And he was keeping his family away from me because he didn't want them to stress me out any further. They were just confused and concerned and trying to reach out to us. Nothing malicious or accusing.

I thought it was going to all be okay eventually but unfortunately, 3 nights ago, she sent him a text with some pictures of some parts of my journal. She'd taken pictures of the parts where I described things that had happened almost too vividly and then I had pointed out ways I could have defended myself and questioned why I hadn't fought back, before explaining it away as being my fault, blaming it on the way my body had developed and the way I looked and wanting them to do those things to me. Its a disgusting, jumbled piece of my mental state at the time. It was stupid but it was just a way back then to pull all my negative thoughts out of my head and get rid of them so I didn't have to think about the ways I could have stopped it. Maybe it was the wrong way to do it but it's all I had, I never went to therapy. She put in her message that I had spread my legs and got her son to believe my sob story but she had proof I was a willing whore and she would never let her children and grandchildren be alienated from her.

His sister rang him crying and told him that their mom had sent her the same text. And to the other siblings and some others in the family. Fil was apparently furious and the family have reached out multiple times to my poor husband to apologise and ask after me.

Things haven't been going well. My husband is so broken over his mother's actions and is just lashing out. He's broken all ties with her and is just so furious at anyone in the family who even reaches out to ask if we're doing okay. He won't let them get in contact with me and is just so angry. He owns the house my in-laws live in and financially supports them 100% and has told them that they'll need to get out immediately and he's done financing their shit. But I'm trying to get him to not do that. It's just a house and some money, it doesn't matter. I don't know how to comfort him or what to say or do to reassure him that he is not to blame for what she's done.

As for me, I'm just in a fog. I don't know how to process what she did, so I'm not going to until I'm ready. My husband isn't leaving me alone and it helps to just cuddle up and pretend nothing has happened for a little bit. I think we might start some couples therapy, just to be able to learn ways to help each other through this and become closer and communicate better. I'm not ready for any therapy regarding my own stuff yet. It sickens me that they know this about me, that they know a chunk of what my feelings and thoughts were back then. I hate it so much that my husband read those parts and he knows I thought like that about myself. I never wanted to be some damaged victim in front of him. Its just shit.

I won't be posting on here again. Thank you all for your lovely words. I hope you take care.

Edit: thank you all so much for being so kind and wonderful. And thank you to the commenters who privately messaged me telling me how much I must have enjoyed and asked for it and offering to reenact it with me again. No.