Ok so this is gonna be a lot and the title doesn't really do this whole story or feelings justice. My wife and I have been married for 8 years I'm a straight male and she's I guess what you call pan sexual. From my understanding it means you are just attracted to anyone but you are committed to who you are with. (Please correct me if I'm wrong) I'm active army, I went away for training at the beginning of the year for 6 weeks. I met this girl who was just a friend but I found my self in odd situations where it could be seeming like I was being a cheater. To be honest I never did anything. I'll give an example. We went out on a night after our class was over and we all got drunk at a bar, 2 other females and 4 other males. We ubered back. Let's say her name was Sarah was really really drunk and was having a hard time getting to her room. I helped her back and she immediately began throwing up outside her room and inside her room in the bathroom. Being being a gentleman helped her out a bit she ended up falling asleep at the bowl and I fell asleep on the floor in the bedroom at the end of the bed. I told my wife immediately that I stayed in another girls room and explained the situation. She wasn't happy. Well that helped spark a friendship at least that could be established. Now let me be clear I've always clicked with girls better as friends. I'm a straight male but always liked wemen as friends more even all the way back to middle school and high school I've never cheated on my wife. Either way I became friends with Sarah and we studied together and hug out outside of class.

Ok so now I finally get home and I continue to talk to Sarah through Snapchat. Just texts. My wife began to suspect that I had slept with her which is odd because I've never given her a thought that I would cheat. Anyway I assured her that I wasn't or didn't cheat. So this goes further. I was on her computer (we have a shared game room) and I was (I'm not gonna lie I was torrenting movies) before I turned on the VPN I noticed she a had a page up (something along the lines of is my husband having an emotional affair?) We had a couple of fights about it I was pressed and felt more annoyed that she was even thinking that so I was stubborn and refused to drop a friend b cause my wife was jealous. The problem continued and well I ended up stop talking to Sarah anyway because I realize there was a lot more emotional stress there than I had originally thought. This is what had lead to the depression along with some child hood stuff.

From that we stopped fighting a a few months but things were a bit odd. We had good days and bad says but it seemed like it was going to be better and we could move on. I wish I had stopped talking to Sarah a lot earlier. So we met this couple at work and his wife is pretty beautiful I'm not going to lie. So the first interaction my wife tells her she's beautiful which she is and women like to complement each other so I thought nothing of it. The next time we hung out we all went on a boat trip and the first interaction they had was a pic where my wife clearly has her hand on the other women's ass. So I pointed it out tactful and in private. Later that day on the boat, my friend's wife let's call her Lola tells my wife she's bisexual and she find my wife very beautiful. So I'm a little confused like both of these women are in long term committed relationships with kids and everything. So I say keep it to your self and I establish boundaries with my wife a d ask her to establish boundaries with lola. See starts hanging out with her more and and being vague about what they are doing. She's not texting me when they are together and then she keeps changing plans and hanging out with her instead of me. It's odd. So I confront my wife and she says nothing has happened. Now at this point Lola has told my wife that she believes that "doing stuff with girls" is not cheating and that she has slept with other girls while being married all while continues to touch my wife and consistently give her complementa At this point I reestablish boundaries and tell her if she doesn't establish boundaries with lola then I will. We have a big fight a few days later and she still insists that nothing has happened but she's super secret about her phone. 8 years together I've never wanted to cared to Snoop though her phone and I don't even keep a passcode on mine because there's nothing there. All the sudden I can't even look at her phones case with out getting scolded. the other day my wife expressed that now she wants to have a threesome with another girl or have me there while she's fucks another girl. I meam at least she wants me there, I just prefer to just stay the two of us and I've expressed that to her. The fights have gotten worse and o we the dumbest shit and this has been happening for like 6 months. I began to seek help with our family life councilor and so has she but it doesn't seem to be helping and now I just feel depressed and left out and doubtful and now I'm second guessing an 8 years marriage. I want to feel happy again and I feel like I'm not getting the whole story. Do I begin to plan for the worse or keep moving forward. I just feel helpless and depressed and I need some advice.