I don’t know where to start to be honest. No matter what I say I don’t think I have time to explain the entire dynamic. So hopefully the short version gets the point across.

My gf of 1 year and 6 months is a very unreliable person, she can’t budget whatsoever, impulse buys, and has the memory of a gnat. We commonly get into disagreements into things because she thinks I don’t tell her that we are budgeting for some specific bill and I have to literally pull out our phones and go back to the messages to prove i did. And over serious things like, let’s not buy makeup so we can pay rent, or let’s not go out to eat right now so we can have cash on hand to keep gas in the car to get back and forth to work. (We share a car and a motorcycle, and we live in the country. So we use a lot of gas to get anywhere ever). She also says her anxiety is too crippling to even take our rent money to the landlord or pay our electric over the phone (which is a whole other argument as she flat out refuses to see a therapist or a take her medicine to address that issue)

I recently as in 3 weeks ago lost my job (over days I had to take off work to care for my family as my mother buried her baby brother) And as of right now will be starting a new job this week to make ends meet. It took me 3 weeks of applying at factories, doing interviews and waiting on background checks to clear and people to call me back etc etc. For the most part all our bills are shared expect a few luxury items we both have separately. The one in question is my motorcycle payment. It’s about 200$. And I explained to her that if I don’t find a job fast enough, I can’t take care of my usual half of the bills. And she said she understood and we’d be fine. And yesterday I did my weekly ritual of sitting her down and talking out our upcoming budget. And when I mention my bike payment and my half of our phone bill (75$) she said she wouldn’t pay that because I never talked to her about paying more bills than normal. Which turned into an argument when I pulled up our messages that I did in fact talk to her about it.

This is a regular occurrence. When it comes to helping me, even before I lost my job. Next to no effort is put in. She just can’t adult. If I have a bad day she’s the perfect partner emotionally. Just financially she’s atrocious. So our phones are going to be turned off and I’ll probably lose my bike because ‘I didn’t tell her I needed help to pay them’ according to her. What do I do? I’ve spent a year trying to help her be self sufficient and at least in my eyes fair about splurging our money on luxury items. And under normal circumstances I only make her pay half of our joined bills with me often covering part of her half. It’s not her place to pay my half of the bills but... I thought I did the right thing by asking her ahead of time to help me if it came down to it but she’s upset like I wronged her... am I wrong? What is a better way to handle this? What can I do to help her take care of things financially without me constantly trying to count out our budget alone? I feel like I just ranted and that this post makes so sense... but idk what key area to even start to fix us.