My GF and I have been together two years. We live separately. She’s 37 I’m 35yrs. She has an apartment in the city and I have a house outside the city, 10mins drive from her.

We have talked about moving in together. My house is rented. Its a really nice place to live, nice people, very quiet. I can afford to buy a place of my own but my money is invested in other things right now.

Her parents helped her buy her apartment 9 years ago. They advised her to get a house but she wanted “an apartment in the city centre”. The location is busy, traffic is a nightmare all day and night, it’s near bars. She struggled with money as bills are expensive in the city centre.

Anyway, since she owns her apartment it made sense to talk about me moving in with her We’ve talked about moving in together for roughly the last year. We talked about doing the place up, we’ve gone out choosing paint colours. I always assumed her parents gave her a deposit on the mortgage so she could buy the apartment and have the apartment and mortgage in her name. However, something smelled fishy for a while.

Her parents seem to be very involved in decisions with her apartment. Decoration,painting, etc. She has argued with them about this kind of thing. I told her I thought they were being unfair and, although they helped her buy it, they should treat her like an adult.

I also find it strange we never talk about me moving in in front of her parents. When she and I are alone she asks a lot “when are you going to move in, do you feel ready yet”. Yet if her parents are there they talk about the property as if it’s an investment.

Last week I talked to my mum and dad and they said something that concerned me. They said “before you move in, you need to find out who the apartment belongs to”. Today my GF and I had a conversation. She again asked if I was ready to move in. She even got angry when I didn’t sound eager enough. So then I asked, who actually owns the apartment.

She told me, the apartment is in her name, her dads name, and her mums name. They’re joint owners. Her dad has several properties as investments. And if her parents want to sell it they can. They’ve made that clear from the start. In fact before she met me there have been a few occasions where they told her they might have to sell it and they have told her to move back in with them.

I’m shocked. I can only think she thought I would move in and pay like a tenant does. I mean, I would be her tenant. IMO that’s no way to start a life together. I’m disappointed she wasn’t up front all along.

There have been many times she has withheld information from me so that being with her looks more appealing, and I’ve found out she has lied, when telling the truth would have been better in the long term. This time it has just left me confused.