Quick Edit : Thank you all for your responses and advice so far - I do want to clarify. I absolutely had 50/50 joint custody per the court order. She had primary custody and I had the typical every other weekend and one day per week customary order.

Today I learned that my son and his fiance are naming their new baby after his stepdad. I am at a loss on how to take this. Theres obviously nothing I can do about it and certainly not trying to talk him out of it or treat this child different. I have alot of emotions going on right now and they are not positive. I feel like this is a slap in the face and disrespectful toward me and my family. I think a little back story might help on the reasons why I feel hurt.

His mother and I divorced when he was in elementary school. One of the main reasons we divorced is because I found out she had been cheating with someone for a matter of time. When we split up, she almost immediately moved in with this man. She maintained primary custody and I had regular visitation and shared parental rights. Within a year my ex had remarried to this same man I caught her cheating with. I moved on and a few years later with my own relationship and remarried.

VERY VERY Long long story short here.... during the next 13 years trying to co-parent with this couple was a complete and utter nightmare. I found out soon after our split (from mutual acquaintances) that I was being painted as an abusive husband to her family and friends. I endured their narcissistic and sociopathic behavior toward me on a regular basis for years and frankly was passive most of the time toward it because I knew it was effecting our son. Like many other divorces, this child was put in the middle and used as leverage as much as I tried and tried for this not to happen by giving in so many times. This couple manipulated and lied about many many things that happened and I was constantly made out to be the bad, irresponsible, weak parent. Massive parental alienation happened on their side in terms of constant bad-mouthing, snide off the cuff remarks about me and my family name and their obsessiveness in controlling my visitation time with my son even down to the minute with never any negotiations on me seeing him any more than what the court papers said. My son would complain about the step father being dismissive and not pay much attention to him during these years. During these years, I never once missed a scheduled visitation, never once missed a sports event, or school function. I only ever saw the step father one time in all of these years at one event. This particular event just happened to be during when my ex had extended family in town at the time who also attended. I maintained a very close relationship with my son over these years. Many times he begged to come live with me. When he had enough courage to tell his mother/stepdad this, instead of anger his mother wept and his stepfather berated him saying look how you are making her cry, etc etc etc. He never did move in with me but we maintained close relationship for the most part even through the natural teenage years struggles. Once graduated, my son decided to pursue a profession that everyone embraced because we had family history on both sides being in this same profession.

Things have slowly changed over the last three-four years. Over this time, some distance has formed between my son and I. He moved across the country for a new job. I first noticed more distance forming in our relationship as I would notice social media posts from him tagging his mother in many things because it appeared she was always sick. (This was not a new thing as I experienced her being "sick" over the course of my marriage to her and realized that 90% of the time it was for small things and attention) I didn't really ever inquire because it was frankly none of my business. I then noticed , when he would come back home for an occasional visit, he was hesitant to spend much time at my house. He didnt have transportation so I would pick him up for dinner or to visit for a few hours and then he would tell me he needed to probably get back to his moms because she needed help. Again, I really didnt question this and honored his request. This happened a few times.

Fast forward to about a year and a half ago. He met the "love of his life" and got married at the JP within 6 months. I found this out after the fact from a facebook post. He called me and apologized and said he got caught up in the whirlwind. He informed me that they didnt have a reliable vehicle and were having issues with theirs plus other financial issues. My family and I decided to all chip in and buy him and his fiance a brand new car that we gifted him. Several months later, through the grapevine I find out that he and his fiance were to be traveling back home for a wedding party thrown by his mom and her family. He never told me this was planned and so I waited for him to tell me he had this planned. He never did. He and his fiance drove over 2200 miles across country, in the car i bought him and never came over and I never met her. We had an argument over this and he apologized profusely and stated he ran out of time, blah blah blah. That caused alot of tension and distance for a while but we have continued a relationship and communication. He told me several months ago they were expecting. He has contacted me a cpl times as well for financial assistance and I have sent him money.

Today I found out the name of his son will be his step fathers name. I asked him about this and he said that his fiance's grandfather has the same name so it seemed appropriate and they really didnt think much about it EDIT: I found out this was not true ). What I didnt tell my son is that my grandfather had the same name, and my son didnt mention this at all or ever inquire.

Im not jealous at all that he didnt name the child after me. I certainly wont treat this child differently because of that. Im not sure at times if I will even ever see this child much.

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Im not sure what I feel but thank you for at least letting me vent...

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