So I’ll start off by saying I’m not really sure if I’m looking for advice or if I just need to finally just get what I’ve been holding in off my chest and out my head. This is my first post so please forgive me.

So about 3 years ago I was working for a storage company and I always worked alone. I have a bit of a thing about getting freaky in places I really shouldn’t, so one day I decide to make a Craigslist post looking for a random hook up at the storage place. A day later I get a reply from this guy that was interested in getting head in a storage unit, well long story short there 3 years later we are now deeper into this what I call a rollercoaster relationship.

Now here is where I explain the relationship. I am bi (31M) he was/is a confused (27M). The relationship started with him strictly coming to my job just for his Sunday bj, then one day he hits me up outside of a Sunday and this time he wanted to come to my personal home and hang. That night I learned he was interested in more. That eventually happened, emotions started to form yada yada. After months of messing around I find out he’s married with kids. I pull back he keeps bringing me back in. He and his wife finally get a divorce but by this time now I have moved to a new city (same state), he gets a job working in the new city I now live in but now something is different, he’s a bit more of an ass. What was once a good thing now feels like a booty call and only when it best for him.

Fast forward a year into living in new city, he still works in my city but somehow I now hear from him less and see him even less. I have tried to let him go twice by now but he somehow keeps pulling me back. I have now learned why I seem to be addicted to this guy; he is the first guy I have ever bottomed for and I guess I got hooked. Now let change things. So one day he apparently has an argument with his ex and he takes it out on me. He told me that what we do behind close doors grosses him out, he’s not gay and he hates this shit but says he really likes me though and what we have going on(short version). I was confused af by this point but I gave him the benefit of the doubt since it was out of anger.

All of this relationship up until a few months ago this guy was a closed f**king book and we usually talked for alil then got right to business but yet when he has stayed over with me or I with him he cuddles me ALL night. One night we had a moment and he finally shared....a lot, it was great but then the next day after he was weird.

There is a lot more to this but this is just an example. I really care for this dude but I think it’s time to let go. It’s just really hard doing so. Thank you to anyone that read and listened to me bitch and get some things out.