I know this is a weird scenario but please just bear with me. Basically, in my family, believing in folklore and “old wives’ tales” is pretty common. One story is that if a guy consumes your menstrual fluid, he’ll be super devoted to you forever. Long story short, I started dating my current boyfriend a little over a year ago. Things were casual. I liked him but wasn’t sure if his feelings were as intense as mine were. He was still getting over an ex and made that clear to me. I was starting to wonder if this was just a rebound relationship.

Anyway, one night, I offered to cook for him at my apartment. (Prior to that we’d always gone out to eat and he generally insisted on paying, so I figured he’d appreciate the gesture. He did).

I was on my cycle. I have really bad periods. Always have. Lots of cramping, high emotions, etc. I don’t know what I was even thinking but I decided to just add a little blood to the sauce. I don’t want to get too graphic so I’ll spare you the details of how I went about it. When he came over, he was none the wiser. He ate the pasta and I pretended I was too ill to eat heavy food and just opted to pick at the salad.

Looking back I am horrified that this happened and even more horrified that I allowed him to eat the food. I’m sure he had no idea and I’ve never mentioned it to this day.

Shortly after that, we became exclusive. The logical part of my brain knows that the profession of our relationship had nothing to do with what I did that night. But the superstitious part of me has always wondered...what if? What if he doesn’t really love me? What if I somehow manipulated his feelings and he doesn’t even know?

I’ve been wrestling lately with whether to tell him the truth. I honestly love this guy more than anything. He’s super sweet and attentive and never fails to make me laugh. I don’t want to lose him over some stupid thing I did a year ago when I was feeling insecure.

Advice?

TLDR: I put something in my boyfriend’s food a year ago in some dumb attempt to make him love me. We are now exclusive and have a great relationship. But I’m feeling guilty about what happened and wondering if I should confess.