I [27F] think I’m now starting to realize my close friend [53M] of multiple years is emotionally abusive after he called me a bitch and told me I have no integrity last night because he doesn’t agree with a choice I made. (We used to work for the same company and he was my boss, the CEO treated him like shit so he quit spectacularly and since I left after working there 4.5 years, I’ve been freelance writing for them under one of the VPs who I LOVE)

He constantly makes me feel like I’m crazy, has told me on multiple occasions that I’m selfish, I have no empathy, no loyalty, no integrity. He’ll make insane demands - for example, the day after my wedding he “fell in love” with my moms best friend that was at his table. He insisted that I get info for him from my mother (again, this is the morning after my wedding) and when I was too busy he told me how unbelievably selfish I was and how dare I call myself a friend, on and on and on. I felt terrible so I did it as we were trying to open gifts and be good hosts to guests over the house.

At the same time, he has helped me incredibly, training me in my career and believing in me. He helped me get my new job and constantly pushed me to be better at my craft. He’s confided in me and trusts me and appreciates my opinion on things. He’s been my cheerleader and supporter when I needed one.

So how do you know if you have an abusive friendship? I stopped responding after he wouldn’t stop berating me and telling me what a terrible person I am last night, what should I do now?