Personal Background: This is my first GF, so breaking up is something I've never dealt with in the first place. Furthermore, I'm extremely empathetic and always help people so seeing anyone in distress (my GF in this case) has added a layer of difficulty.

Also while not quite as relevant, I have an extremely tough time finding girls to date (2% response rate on OKC and 1 Tinder match per week in NYC). I'm very short for an American man (5'4") and have a face that makes me look 19. Between the two, I've had a tough time even getting to a first date. Therefore, it's always in the back of my mind that finding another girl to hang out with could take months or years.

Relationship Background: In May, I started going out with my girlfriend. At first, she was fun and decently nice but then things started taking a turn. After a few drinks, she would get verbally aggressive and point out things that I was doing wrong in the relationship. Due to my inexperience, I genuinely believed her in the beginning and she would always profusely apologize in the morning. Multiple scuffles later, I realized I was at the point of not even looking forward to seeing her so I tried to break up. Additionally, I was starting to feel extremely bad because she had dropped the L-bomb on me and I couldn't honestly reciprocate (and not replying caused even more grief).

First break-up attempt: After a business trip, I stopped by her apartment since I felt like I had moment (we'd be fighting over text about how "I'd been ignoring her on the trip"). Usually, she's a bit of a fighter when it comes to arguments but this was the first time she immediately broke down in tears and sobbed that she knew it was all her fault. From there, she began to list all the things she was working on with her therapist and they basically matched everything I felt uneasy about. She knows I've been feeling low myself the past few months and she said that she wanted to build each other up from now on and start back at square one (drop GF/BF labels and try "first dates" again). To have someone that cared about me so much and was willing to try so hard to stay in a relationship with me really struck something deep, so I relented and said we could try again. That was two weeks ago and already we've been in 3 more fights.

Second attempt: Last night, I again went to her place with full intention of breaking up. In my mind, the fact that we couldn't go two weeks without fighting was the needle that broke the camel's back. So I get there and say that this time I'm done and nothing can change my mind. The sobs are terrifying this time and she tells me that I at least need to stay with her until the next morning because she's afraid of herself when alone (she's on several antidepressants and has attempted suicide before). I tell her I need to leave and ask if there's anyone I can call and she replies with "there's no one in this city" and that "it doesn't matter anyway since I have nothing left" (along with a few more references to suicidal thoughts). As my mind raced, I quickly realized she was right in that she didn't have anyone to help her in the city. She moved here for a job and she has befriended zero people (and her family lives 12 hours away). In the heat of the moment, I agreed to sleep on the sofa until work the next morning. Side-note: one of my friends killed themselves last year after being dumped and it's always fresh in my mind since she was suffering from a similar depression.

All night long, she was awake crying and begging me to reconsider. I held strong until 12 hours later when she said she was just asking for me to "take a break" and that two weeks simply wasn't giving someone a fair chance. I began to think about how I maybe I was being obtuse and that maybe I could like her again. We laid out some ground rules where she would lower her expectations and I'm free to date other girls (she was not exactly happy about the latter but was desperate). We kissed and I left.

Where I'm at: I'm basically okay with trying this one more time but part of me feels like a failure for not executing the break-up. Moreover, I'm extremely concerned that I won't be able to actually follow-through and break-up with her.

*Two questions: * 1) Is not breaking up and trying again ever a good idea? 2) Is there a way I can safely break-up if it comes to that?

TL;DR GF is depressed, I gave her a second (now third) chance, but have a fear that I cannot safely break up with her.