Split with my kids' mom about a year ago after 7. I discovered a bunch of quirks in my personality and am having problems negotiating them. 1- I HATE being alone- living alone, sleeping alone, being home alone, I have panic attacks. I also get the "OMG a girl is talking to me, I'm going to be in a relationship again" notion... I get ahead of myself. I don't think I've ever really "dated". It's been talk on the phone for a few days, spend the night, and not leave until the relationship ends in 2 or 3 months... (with the exception of my kids' mom)

2- I'm a unique blend of people pleasing kinky, group player, occasionally bi, into light bdsm, random fun stuff, Women my age-15 years older. And yet I'm a bit white trashy, shit kicker, animal nut, and want to homestead. I hate trash and filth all over but can't live a frivolous, high maint., immaculate life with no clutter around.

Add these things to the normal criteria to sort through when finding a relationship and finding a relationship becomes very difficult.

Is there any hope or am I doomed to 2 and 3 month relationships?