we've been together 9 years- highschool sweethearts. married for 3 years. Right away he took on a caretaker role bc my parents were chaotic. I loved that. I relied on him for everything.

My personality has always been that I was happy with only one best friend, one lover, one person that i make my whole world, ever since kindergarten.I thought i met my match bc he was romantic and passionate and we loved always being together.

apparently he is overwhelmed with being my caretaker- that and my temper. I always had a hard time keeping my temper under control. I would start to get angry, try to walk away, and he would follow me! which of course made things worse. Now i just have a hard time calming down and forgiving him for everything.

We started couples therapy and all of these instances have been brought up and is traumatizing for him. His father was verbally abusive. I knew my temper wasn't ok but i didn't know i was damaging and traumatizing him. In therapy I've realized that i always had a problem with him being emotionally unavailable and unloving for years. which of course is the result of his anger at me.

Now we cannot get along, and do not have an understanding of eachother. he says he understands me and that I dont understand him and dont have any empathy for him. When he tells me something hes going through i usually just try to find a solution, something to make him feel better. He also has an anxiety disorder where he gets irrational and is hard for me to understand. I love him but I am so unhappy with his inability to be a husband. He's not affectionate, doesn't hold a steady job/doesnt feel the need to contribute financially, wont clean the house- all a result of his anger at me that he just cannot get over.

TL;DR My husband left to stay at his mothers, cannot forgive me/get over the past, what do i do from here?