Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well I (24M) live with two housemates, N (24F) and R (24NB). We’ve been living together for just over six months now, and we have a really great dynamic. We cook for each other, hang out almost every night, and genuinely feel like a little family. R and I, in practically like siblings—they’re one of my closest friends, and there’s never been anything romantic or sexual between us. The three of us are so close that friends have jokingly called us a thruple, which we always laughed off.

The issue is with N. Since October, there’s been a lot of sexual tension between us, and I don’t know how to deal with it. It started one night when neither of us could sleep, so we ended up hanging out in their room watching a show. At some point, they mentioned they had bad cramps, so I offered to give them a massage. During that, they told me I was turning them on and asked if I wanted to have sex. Things got a little handsy, but it ended awkwardly because neither of us wanted to make things weird. At the time, we kind of brushed it off as a momentary thing and moved on.

Then in December, something similar happened. We had plans to go clubbing with some friends, but neither of us felt up to it, so we stayed in and watched a film together instead. It was supposed to be just a chill, cozy night, but at some point, they admitted they didn’t know how we could not hook up while living together because it felt inevitable. That conversation stuck with me, and since then, the tension between us has only grown. There’s been an ongoing flirty vibe between us, and I can feel the underlying attraction, but neither of us has directly addressed it.

Part of the reason all of this started is because back in September, an ex-friend of ours was pushing for a threesome between the three of us. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but I think it planted the seed for some of this tension.

Now I’m in this weird limbo. I don’t know how to put a lid back on it, but I also don’t know how to figure out what I actually want. Deep down, I think I do want something to happen, but I’m unsure if that’s a good idea. I really value our friendship and our living situation, and I’m scared that acting on this could mess things up.

So I guess my question is—how do I navigate this will we won't we situation?

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice would be really appreciated.

Any advice would be really appreciated.