Just to start, me(23) and my now ex girlfriend (23) have been on and off since the 7th grade. We got back together two and half years ago and things were amazing. I get in a situation at work where our job is a few hundred miles away, I leave for two weeks and come back for two weeks. The time I spend there I work long days and rarely get back to the air bnb early enough to call her so we mostly would text. During this time she starts a new job and becomes very close with her boss. To the point they flirt and she talked about her desires, I figure this out and try to break up with her. We end up trying to work things out but I continue to ask her questions about how deep it went, sometimes asking the same question over and over. It broke me to my core but she has always been the woman I loved and wanted to spend my life with. After working for months I continue to have trouble getting over it and continue to ask her questions about it. I also have trouble controlling my emotions because of how I felt and lose my top over little crap. A week ago she asks to take some time for herself and tells me she started seeing a therapist to better herself. Her therapist told her I am abusing her and manipulating her to keep trying in the relationship. So I completely change pace, decide to change how I act and behave. Started writing down things I’m grateful for and becoming closer to god like when I was younger. Over the weekend we spend some time together and she tells me it isn’t gonna work and will never work. I waited too long to make the change and I can’t believe I was labeled as abusive but I understand that it was that way. Today she told me it won’t work and the reason she cheated is cause I wasn’t giving her what she needed. I decided to change my life a week ago to be the man I wanted to be and to work through our past in a healthier way but it didn’t make a difference. Now I ruined the relationship and her thoughts of me cause I couldn’t get over her emotionally cheating. I felt like it ruined me. Now that I’ve committed to change she ends things, I understand I waiting too long to change and that’s on me. But how do I move forward for ruining the relationship with the one person I love the most? How do I move forward being labeled as emotionally abusive when it truly didn’t occur to me I was being that way and couldn’t control my emotions? I was in full control of myself before but after I’d lose my top over everything and question her about cheating. Now that I realized what I was doing and how wrong it is, it’s too late and now she resents me. How do I move forward?