Hi all,

As far as I know this is a pretty common problem in the human mind, but once again I will reopen this often addressed question.

I (19m) am currently in a 4 month lasting relationship. It's my first girlfriend (20f) and I am her second boyfriend (last one ended a year ago). I very much love my girlfriend. We have a lot of things in common and also have a lot of things we don't agree on. This is not really a problem though, as i think that we have a very healthy relationship and communicate about everything. My intention is to do this my whole life: I do not feel the desire to lie to her and as far as i can tell, she has the same mindset.

We both never had sex, since we see it as a very personal thing which you only do with the person you love and only after really getting to know each other. The past months we have slowly made steps towards the act of sex. Kissing all over the body, rubbing over genitals (with underpants on), touching genitals without underpants, etc. For me the next step is quite clear: sex. However, she says she is not ready for it yet. I respect her boundaries and will not push when she's not ready.

The problem here is that I have a fairly high libido and have sexual desires quite often. I can manage with masturbation (mostly once per day - once per 3 days), but the desires are getting stronger. The fact that she achieves multiple orgasms when we are getting it on and me not getting any orgasm can be part of the cause of this. We have not yet reached the point where she feels comfortable with giving me a handjob, but is comfortable enough to receive a 'clitoris masage', if you will. I still have a lot of fun, but obviously the male orgasm is not achieved by solely rubbing from the outside.

Now the question is: how do I manage these sexual cravings until my girlfriend is ready?

I am well aware that when you can not get something you seem to 'need' out of your current relationship, you will try to find that elsewhere. So the longer that I am not able to fulfill my sexual 'needs', the stronger my desires get. How do I manage this?

Thank you for your insights!