I get told almost everyday that I ruin the family. I don’t even know how to word any of this but I will say some of the most hurtful things my family have ever said to me.

“You are the most disappointing thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, Have you seen your brother I love him he’s an angel.” - My mum. reason: she found out I drank alcohol without permission.

“I know you don’t try to but you just ruin our family sometimes.” My brother. reason: he found out I had sex.

“You disgusting child you’re lucky this present is the only thing that’s broken because if it was allowed I would break your legs you evil bitch.” My dad. reason: I got angry because my parents wouldn’t let me go out the day before my birthday and hit the kitchen island accidentally pushing a package onto the floor.

“I was so excited when I found out I was having a baby girl it was everything I ever wanted, little did I know I would give birth to you.” My mum. reason: I had a party (they gave me permission to have it) and it got crashed and mine and my brothers airpods got stolen along with some other things in the house. This was in the middle of one of her monthly talks about how she hates my attitude and this time she let all her feelings out.)

“All I want is a happy family why do you have to ruin it all for us.” - My mum. reason: I was being moody apparently.

Those are some examples of things I get told. I really don’t know what to do anymore so I came to reddit. I’m honestly considering suic1de I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like they’d all be so much better without me and I feel like I’d be better if I wasn’t even here I just want to be a star floating in the sky I wouldn’t hear anything or have any problems.

Side information: I am autistic I got diagnosed when I was 4 and have always struggled expressing my emotions. Even when I’m the most happiest person in the world my voice seems to stay monotone and I seem sad but I’m not I just don’t know how to talk to people.

I’m not really too sure what else to say please ask questions if you want more information.