Im in a relationship with my boyfriend almost 2 years. He had a neglected childhood, where his father was just a provider and his mother was just absent, using the money coming anywhere except for her children. He has a little sister(18), but he added her number in phone just in 2024. They got seperated after mother's affairs and all when he was around 17. I knew the conditions, and because of the age I didnt see it as a issue (I still dont) but he is using this as an excuse to "not being able to progress", and doesnt to anything. Not opening a book, not getting therapy, not reading anything about basic psychology or mental health and so on. No hobbies when he was young, no hobbies right now either (literally nothing). No walks in park, no activities..Nothing but scrolling. (he says he wants to, but no action for years).
He doesnt understand anything emotionally that I say to him, he only feels what he feels about it. He doesnt stand up next to me, which made me really feel bad at the first year. He had a best friend (26F) and she was there when we had a date, a dinner and when we even sleeping. She was trashtalking about me, I didnt know it until she and her friends started to bully me and my boyfriend told me about it. He did nothing because they did nothing to him. Little he does know it was because they were using him for many reasons. When I warned, we always fought he believed they were good. His friends were all addicted or toxic, shtty people. They started to bully him too, that was when he decided to let go of them. But now he doesnt have any friends except one best friend from highschool. He doesnt meet with mine too, when he does, he just goes all socially awkward. He cant make friends.
He had porn addiction, he SA'd me at the beginning of our relationship (I thought it was just a mistake or a way of flirting because I wasnt aware. then I learned it through time because he was seeing women as objects even though he thought he doesnt.) Also gambling, nicotine, game and social media addiction. It gradually got worse when we were in relationship but fixed in the end after a year. But now its even worse because he has weed addiction now. He is always trying to find a reason to use it. We live together, the house is a mess, I started to become a mess too.
He doesnt understand the concept of being a partner, he just buys me some stuff and leaves me with my open wounds everytime. He says he wants to support me emotionally, but doesnt do anything about it. Today he sent me a 350pg book about traumas when I was having a really big breakdown. Nothing more, because he said he cannot help or understand it since he cant relate, he said go get therapy which I did for years.
I noticed he was just consuming EVERYTHING, the food, the movies, the journeys, the vacations, the thoughts. He is just consuming. He doesnt remember anything. He interested in just math (his defence mechanism was studying to get outta his home once) or celebrity dramas, food videos etc. He doesnt find simple joy when doing things. He is grumpy, cant regulate his emotions. He is putting us in danger or acting all careless, like doing welding in the bed. He is clumsy and drops everything and sometimes damages them. Doesnt respect materials or objects too. When he does, he is just offering a new one.
I thought maybe he was an autistic, maybe at some spectrum, maybe he has a disorder which makes him avoidant. I have to tell him 20x times to fix something, but nothing changes in general. For example living room is cold, I am telling him close the door so the rooms will stay hot. He doesnt. Its very simple though. I totally respect the reasons, but I cant respect the outcome. Our daily life is affecting from every small thing now.
We are having really heavy fights, now its mostly me talking all disrespectful and bursting. But it hurts me too I dont want to do it, I feel lack of tolerance. We have physical intimacy and because we release hormones, I become so soft, then after that day, we are in the same place.
I know he is a nice guy in down deep, not that I have "I can fix him" fixation. I dont want to gave up on him but its too hard. I cant find energy to keep it up with. I dont know what to do. I cant see him being a father, a husband or even a normal person.

TLDR: I think my boyfriend has some personality issues but I want to support him as long as I can, what steps can I, he, we can take? What could it be the reason he is acting so immature? (except for couple counselling, we already will take this step but honestly I dont think Itll be enough for both of us)