Hello everyone,

This is my first long term relationship (pushing 3 years) and I’ve been unhappy with our sex life for quite a while now. I’m not sure why I haven’t brought it up, probably because it’s an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it has started making me feel resentful in the relationship.

When we started dating we would have sex pretty frequently and things were great in the honey moon phase. I also think the quality of sex was and has remained pretty good, but the frequency has gone down a lot. We both seem very satisfied after we have sex, but we’re now having sex maybe twice a month. I know the frequency of sex will likely only decrease as time goes on, and I’m not sure less than what we currently do is something I want. I have brought up casually that I feel like we should have sex more often, but nothing has come of it, or she says try tomorrow and I’ll be in the mood, but then shes too tired.

I think I’m scared to start the conversation now because we live together, have 2 cats and it’s nice having someone to travel with and live life with. A breakup would be messy and not what I want, but I’m already to the point where I’m wishing for more sex and turning to porn or pictures on Reddit to fulfill my desires. I also frequently wish I had a girlfriend who was more sexually active, or lusting over other girls in general.

How do I start a conversation about this in a non confrontational way? A breakup up is the last thing I want, but I feel like 24 is far too young to be unsatisfied in my relationship with the frequency of sex.