My grandma had been extremely sick the last 6 months, and we had known her end was coming soon. She went critical 4-5 days ago, was admitted to hospital and put on life support. And only got worse as the days went by. As soon as my dad informed me of her deteriorating condition, I booked a flight for the very next day.

Currently on the way to my hometown after a 24 something hour journey, and still 4 hours away. Learned a couple of hours ago that my grandma passed away. I’ll get home in another 4 hours, and her cremation is within a couple hours of me arriving. To be honest, I’m feeling relieved because I wouldn’t have been able to see her in the condition she was in or be there when they pulled the plug.

While first few days will be spent mourning, being sad and getting over, I’m very afraid of what the next 2-3 weeks follow for me. My dad was way too attached to his mum, and will be an emotional mess for a while. And I fully expect him to use me as his emotional support person over this period. He has always wanted me to come back home and live with him, even through I have been away for 15 years. And with him losing his mum, he is gonna want me even more to come live.

I know I have my life in a foreign land, a good career, my own place and all my friends. And that is home for me. And there is no way I’d ever see myself moving to my hometown, and he knows this too as we have had this argument plenty in the past.

How do I navigate being stern on my decision, without coming off as a heartless person? Also, because of work, my home, my cats I can only be there for a few weeks (a month at max) and I fear he’ll want me to stay longer.

How do I navigate all of this?