Since a couple of years I (30M) was in a commited relationship with my now recently ex girlfriend (26F). We had a wonderful relationship, very loving and caring. In the beginning she was definitly more invested than I was. But time over time I really began to love her deeply. We are very different but somehow it did match very good. I think it was because we had good communication.

So fast forward. She saved up money to buy a van because she had this longing for traveling for a long period of time. Even before we met she had this idea. She bought a van and eventually she went on this trip. Beforehand we had our fears if the relationship will work or numerous other things could happen, we expressed it and it was all fine. We were commited to make it work. After 1,5 month I visited her for 10 days and it was amazing. We really had a good time and we felt we were growing in our relationship. A week after I came back home, she met a wonderful group of solo traveling girls. So she decided to travel with them. I was happy for her because traveling can be alone sometimes. After 4 days we called and she expressed that something triggered her. She had this feeling to experiment with girls and how I felt about it. I said that I can't hold you back but I didn't liked it either. So we talked about it for a couple of days and she was still confused but eventually decided to not too worry that much and to focus on us.

We decided to have datenight-calls to really make contact with each other and that was nice. We expressed how much we miss and love each other and also made plans to visit again. After our last nice call, the next day she calls me that we have to talk. She expressed that she is very confused about her sexuality with girls and wanted to explore that. The only way to do that for her was to break up with me. I was stunned because I didn't see that coming. So I asked if there was something going on with one of the girls she met and said that she developed feelings for one but was still unsure it was love or not. Also she suddenly was insecure about her future as well. She didn’t know how long she will be living abroad and because I have my life here she didn't see that lining up. I was in shock.. and said that I need space to process this.

So after 2 days I wrote her a letter about how I feel and she said she said that my letter did alot to her and need space to process everything that happened. Also she is now distancing herself from the group alone, to think about the whole situation, alone. Wich I am glad about because she is now outside that bubble.

What I want is the love of my life back. Its like my life turned 180 degrees in a very short time. Her decision also feels very impulsive, wich a lot of people, including her parents agree on.

Now, what can I do or maybe expect from this all?