Hi Everyone,

Thanks in advance for the insight here.

I’ve (25F) been with my partner (22F)for five years and we’ve been living together for about four of those. We met when she was 18 and I was 21. I was in very early recovery when we met and she was, well, young.

I think we’ve both grown and changed so much over the last few years and I do love my partner very much. I wish the absolute best in the world for them, and I don’t know if that’s me. I feel like I’ve started to fall out of love with them. We’ve had a few fights here and there, but nothing crazy. I can’t pinpoint when this happened, it just kind of did.

A big issue I’ve had is I feel like they don’t have a strong sense of identity. Maybe it’s because we’ve been together for so long. I almost feel as though they deserve to experience life without me so they can learn more about who they are.

I feel terrible and I have no idea how to end things or even if I should. We share an apartment that I primarily pay for. They’re in grad school for another year. If I end things, I’m not sure where they’d even live. My partner was with me when I was going through a lot and they loved me and believed in me before anyone did. It feels like such a stab in the back to just leave. These feelings are making me feel like I’m a bad person.

My partner loves me very much and part of me also feels like I could be making a huge mistake. I know I’m not an easy person to love and I’m scared, maybe, no one else ever really will.

On another note, I started to develop feelings for a friend. Maybe that’s playing some sort of role. I have no intention on EVER telling this friend—whether I’m with my partner or not. Idk, felt important to type here.

Thanks so much for any insight.