Me and my wife have been married for two years, but have known each other since we were 15. After few weeks of dating in high school her parents sent her to all girls boarding school to keep her away from me. Fast-forward, at age 19 we reconnected and that’s when I took her virginity. Matter of fact, I was her first everything her first kiss first person to go to second base.

My wife has been married twice before me and was in a 10 year relationship. Me and my wife have always had great communication and we would talk about our sexual experiences our likes our dislikes of our old partners. We have always talk freely like this for years prior to us getting married, and she has been open with me and has answered any questions I had about her sexual pass. EXCEPT, when it comes to the one guy that she had sex with that she wasn’t in a relationship with. She had a three month affair with her married boss. And buy her own admission she was fully aware that their affair was never going to turn into anything more, but just sex. Now mind you when she had sex with this guy it was 10 years before me and her got together as a couple.

When we started seeing each other two years before we got married, I was over the road truck driver, so we would talk on the phone a lot and that was when we shared a lot of information about our past sexual partners. Well, this is where the problem begins, I asked her “what did she enjoy about sex with him?” Her answer was.” I don’t know , it’s better with you”. This struck me as odd because she always had an answer when I asked her about the other three men she had been with . So I kind of brushed it off at the moment but it’s stuck in my mind. So a couple of weeks later, I asked her another question I asked her. What did she find attractive about the married guy? Her answer “ I don’t know. I just know you’re more attractive.” Now this is the second time she’s been evasive about something that we normally talk about freely and openly so I decided to let her know that I thought it was odd how she’s acting when I bring up this married guy. I’ve been reassured her that I would never judge her and that I just wanted to have an open conversation about him just like we did the other men she was with. The only question that she answered about him was where they hooked up at, and she said they would fool around in his car after work and they would go to hotels. Well, about four months later we were talking about her grandmother‘s house and she said something about her uncle catching them 2 having sex at her grandmother’s house. Right after she said it, her face got white as a ghost and you could tell she was rattled. I bought it to her attention that she had told me that they only slept together in hotels and wonder why she didn’t say that from the beginning.

Once we got together, I reiterated that it concern me why she was so evasive when talking about sex with this guy it didn’t make sense to me , that’s when she starts to give me the sob story of how she didn’t wanna talk about it because the last time they went on a work trip she invited him to her room to eat pizza and he started kissing her and made her uncomfortable now mind you they had just had sex the week before so it didn’t make sense to me why she would be so uncomfortable, especially being that she invited him to her hotel room. And she told me that was the reason why she was so evasive about the sexual questions that I asked her prior by this time. This whole situation is super fishy to me and I can’t wrap my mind around why she wouldn’t talk to me about it openly just like she did with everybody else she was with.

Fast forward for two year period she promised me that she would come and talk to me about why she was acting this way and why she was acting this way about this guy and still to this day. I don’t have an answer and she sweeps it under the rug every time I mention it . I told her several times over that two year period that I just wanted her to be honest with me and we could move past this and she could come to me on her own when she’s comfortable and we could have a conversation well it’s been two years and not once has she tried to come to me on her own. The only time we have talked about that guy is when I bring up the fact that she still hasn’t come to me like she said she was. This whole situation has caused me not to trust her because her behavior is completely out of character when it comes to this guy.

The fact that the matter is, I am not bothered by what she did with this guy before me what I’m bothered by is the fact that she was so evasive about talking about him and she knew it was causing a problem between us and she never did one single thing to help fix the problem. All would’ve taken was a simple conversation like me and her have had for 20 years. I see her differently now because of the lengths she’s gone through to avoid talking to me about it , I don’t trust her and she knows that and she also knows that she could fix this if she simply just came to me and had a conversation, but she won’t even do that now we’re at the point that I’m questioning if I want to stay in this marriage, if she would act this way about something she did before me I don’t trust that she would be honest with me about certain things now that we’re together! I really want our marriage to work, but I don’t know how I’m going to get past this.