I (28f) never felt like I could be happier than with my partner (36m) and we are planning to move in together. The issue is, my lease ends 6 months earlier than his, so I’ll be moving in with him temporarily while we find a place together. My parents hate him because even though he’s Korean, he was adopted by white parents and are super super bigoted because they are ultra shallow, and hyper conservative and traditional. They also think our age gap (8 years) is a big deal, which I get but we are fine with it.

They don’t approve of our relationship at all, but we’re happy. My friends love him, and I feel safe and supported with him. We both work in tech with a great work life balance, live in our favorite city, and share hobbies while being respectful of each other. I love him and really see a future with him, but I’m terrified of telling my parents about moving in with him. They're hyper toxic, and my mom always tries to guilt-trip me by saying that I’m personally killing her with the amount of distress that she has due to the fact that him and I are dating. Unfortunately she also always been very sickly and always uses her health as collateral. Even if I try not to let it get to me, going through these arguments traumatizes me. Even being around them, I lose all my sense of pride and joy because of the things they say to me and how they treat me.

I also left home because of how they treated me asap after college, and although it took a while, we managed to rebuild our family relationship and communication after a couple of years. This is some of the history of what they did to me which was physical abuse, steal passport/ss card, and also would do crazy acts where they would literally starve themselves just to demand me to do a certain thing (this was when i left home and refused to come back)

I know I’m doing what’s right for me, but I can’t shake the anxiety and trauma from their reactions. I really need to just live my life, but I'm scared that she might do the unthinkable and it almost makes me want to give up my dreams.