41 yr married. After we had been married for 9 years with darling 4yo and 8 yo daughters, she comes to me and tell me she is worried she has aids; she got drunk and had sex with 3 men (not at once? No details) but she doesn't remember the 3rd guy's name. No AIDS of course, and I let it go back then. Now that our marriage has become essentially sexless, no penetration, cunnilingus ok (she cums Iike a locomotive!), and I am not allowed to even mention sex since "to me marriage is 90% sex" I don't think that at all. It plays in my mind way too often.

Her excuse for the 3 times is she was drunk or we weren't really affianced then. Yes, I am aware of the 3x3 girl rule about cheating. She has also mentioned that every weekend was a weekend of drinking, and she recently told me of a time when she was so drunk she did not remember getting home, and mentioned that she was not actually in the bed, waking up half on and half off and still dressed. So I put two and two together and now know that I have been married to a very interesting woman, and I am quite jealous of her past.

I am all f***ed up about this. I feel like I have been manipulated, gas lighted, and made to be the bad guy throughout our marriage. Did she think about those other penises while I was inside her?

Update: after her session yesterday, she goes to a support group. She tells me about 2 older men that asked her a lot of personal questions. Nothing about the woen in the group. Yes, it is tearing me up a bit inside. My stomach hurts from the stress. I would appreciate some advice and or solace. .