Let’s make this simple, I’m (30M) have been dating very seriously this (38F) girl, she’s a single mom of 3 (17, 15 and 9). She’s separated from her abusive and child molesting husband as of almost a year and a half. He’s currently being charged and such, so yes the claims from her and the kids are legit. We recently found out we were expecting a child together which is very exciting.

Anyhow, the point is when we started dating she told me about her dating experiences previous to me. Mainly just an older guy for a little bit that didn’t work out. However she mentioned one guy who was really good friends of hers for a long time, we’ll call him J. They were all friends, never any funny business— but the moment she separated he started sending forwarding Snapchats, wanting her to come visit him at work late at night. Now keep in mind he is married, happily on social media apparently too. She said the moment he sent a dick pic, she insulted him and deleted him off snap. They didn’t talk since, but she didn’t say anything because she knew his wife and all the friends so she stayed quiet and they didn’t talk. She stated that they haven’t talked since, and they never actually met up. Because of the wife she was proper. Bonus point, this man looks like the ultimate fuckboy. Right now to the clothes and cut. Now they are still friends on Facebook, and there was no contact when we were starting off. I asked her to delete him, but she said she couldn’t cause she didn’t want to alarm the wife and cause drama. Now there was nothing from him, and I forgot about it.

But recently he started interacting slowly. First he liked a profile picture she posted of us, he heart reacted mine. I knew it was a jab, but ignored it. Then he commented on her kids birthday post, and she heart reacted it. Then today she posted a kid update and he interacted again. Nothing creepy, but for a dude that tried to cheat that’s wild. Now I went into his page, all his solo profile pictures back before we were dating she heart reacted, and the ones with his wife were likes. And his wife is gone from her page now, no relationship now. No posts. And she’s still friends with him but it’s like she’s no longer active. No big deals, right?

But recently, last few months the kids have brought him up in past tense. “Mom is /as in me/ more attractive than J though?” Or “mom was obsessed with J’s attention before you.” Even the 8 year old has mentioned him.

Now I don’t think he’s still actually with any of it, but I think maybe more happened than she claims, and the kids actually saw him around.

I want to know how to bring it up without her freaking out, and just getting him removed and deleted. Help?

Feeling aid would be even more appreciated. Thank you.