I recently overheard my b/f talking to his friend "J" (mid 30's M) and long story short, I figured out that J is having my b/f text at least one female, to set up rendezvous. Some background, J has been in a relationship with "A" (mid 30's F) for 8 years, with kids, including a recently adopted infant (J's sister's baby). A is VERY jealous and monitors J's location, text messages and phone calls. She will physically go looking for him and it's common to receive a text from her asking if I've seen him. I don't know if the jealousy came first and that's why he does what he does or visa versa.

So I asked my b/f to stop texting women for J because I think it's disrespectful to me. At first he said , "what are you talking about?", then claimed that he doesn't know what they do together, J says they are friends. If he's okay with J potentially cheating, then maybe he's okay with cheating on me (for the record I don't think he is or would). But it's not a good look to be texting strange women. Who knows this woman might say, "Hey you sound nice what's your story?" There is just no good that can come of this in my eyes.

I don't want to tell A what's going on because it will be all bad. At the same time, if it was me I would want to know. I just want my b/f to not be a part of this and I don't know what to do. Maybe this is just a deal breaker and I should walk away. It hurts that doing this for J is more important than my feelings (and our relationship of 4 years). Maybe I'm just overreacting, that's why I'm here.