I (28M) have been married to my wife (26F) for about a year, though we’ve been together for five years. Lately, I’ve been struggling with something in our relationship and could use advice on how to handle it constructively.

My wife often asks me for small favors throughout the day—things like rubbing her feet every evening, grabbing her snacks multiple times at night, or getting her water even when she’s already in the kitchen. I don’t mind helping out, but sometimes it feels like the frequency of these requests has increased significantly since we got married. Before, she was very independent, and now I feel like I’m being relied on for things she could easily do herself.

I want to make sure I’m being a supportive partner, but I’ve started feeling a bit frustrated. For example, when she asked me to grab her water while she was standing in the kitchen, I lightly joked, “Why do I have to bring you water? You’re already there.” She responded with, “Well, I was going to have sex with you later, but I guess not anymore.” That comment threw me off, and I didn’t know how to address it without making the situation worse.

I’m worried that bringing this up might make her feel like I’m keeping score or that I don’t want to support her, which isn’t the case. At the same time, I feel like there’s a shift in balance that’s bothering me, and I don’t want it to build into resentment.

How can I approach this conversation in a way that strengthens our relationship? Has anyone else navigated something similar in their marriage, and what worked for you?