Is codependency really that inherently that bad?

I have always been pretty independent personality wise and taking care of myself, and I love by myself and have for a year. But I long to be with someone that I can depend on to help me be emotionally stable and I want to also provide the same for them. Is that codependency, or just normal? Like is it so bad that if I’m having a bad time, I want my partner to spend 15 minutes talking to me on the phone, or a grand gesture of coming over? This kind of need happens for me about once every two weeks right now, but it used to be only a once a month.

I just feel like I might be emotionally immature for wanting someone to depend on, but I am also quite self aware. I can spend a whole day alone without talking to my SO, but don’t exactly want to. I can go on a vacation with my sister with hardly and cell service for a week and that’s fine too. And when they tell me “I need space for a day because I have this going on and I feel this way and need space to deal with it” that’s also fine, but if they tell me “I need space” without any explanation after two months of being really close it freaks me out.

My friend says that If I’m distressed after 36 hours of not talking that I am high maintenance and should consider changing my meds, but I also just don’t think we require the same things and I feel she’s unhappy. My other friend says I’m justified and I trust her judgment more.

Pretty sure I’m going to get mixed opinions, probably a lot of people saying I’m expecting too much for three months, and normally I’d agree but he started the relationship off by coming over a lot and all of the sudden after an argument with his mom (whom he lives with) he just stopped coming over unless she wasn’t home. There’s another part of the story too but it doesn’t make sense to me. He thought he took advantage of me after I had a glass and a half of wine, but I wasn’t drunk. Didn’t even feel tipsy. So I asked if he thought I took advantage of him since he was tipsy and drank a little more than me but not much and he said that he wasn’t bothered by that.

And I talked about how I think about consent and he never confirmed whether he’s sticking to his beliefs or if he understands mine and told me that he couldn’t handle thinking about multiple problems at once because it was too much anxiety.

There’s another thing too, but it’s private and someone he knows knows about my Reddit account, so I can’t share that if it’s not a throwaway. It’s also a non issue unless he lied to me about it five months ago, because that’s when I directly asked him about it.

Anyway, he’s worried about being codependent now, and I can understand that, but he just pulled away after us getting close without an explanation until pressed and it hurt me a lot. I know 2-3 months is nothing, but I’ve known him for 13 years.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to break up with him because he makes me feel unwanted and won’t communicate with me anymore. I’d also like for us to be friends and not have our friendship be ruined by this.

There’s a typo above, it’s that I live by myself but phone won’t let me scroll up to edit.

Also we are not exactly 30, just didn’t want to give exact ages. It’s close to our age.

Also this is only his second relationship.