Hi all. We have been together almost a year now. We are essentially compatible in every regard except sexually speaking.

I have a very high drive. Ideally I would enjoy once a day but I am okay with 2-3 times a week. He, on the other hand, is perfectly content with once every other week. I have talked to him about this and very often my advances are rejected. He says his drive is very dependent on his stress levels and energy. He works a lot and we both get home late from our jobs. I understand that but for me, intimacy is reassurance and a way to relieve stress. There are times I would be perfectly fine just giving him head, but often even that is rejected.

In the past, I have talked to him numerous times about how I feel unwanted and undesirable to him. He apologized and once told me that in his last relationship they did not sleep together for a year and it was always him initiating and her shooting him down, and how he feels horrible that he has now inflicted that pain onto me and knows how it feels to continually be rejected. After that, we have a great few days in a row but then it goes back to how it usually is. I have stopped initiating because the pain of rejection does get to me, and at times he has told me I have made him uncomfortable when I make a sexy joke or comment regarding intimacy. I would say I am a very conventionally attractive, young woman and to be constantly blown off is so so painful. There are times he will say “Im tired but tomorrow I promise we will” and then tomorrow is more of the same.

He is an incredible man. I love him so much, and he constantly shows me how much he loves me in every other way. He drove me across 5 states to meet his family and they adore me and I them. I want to marry him. We have talked about marriage in a couple years and children eventually when we both graduate from college. But even with this nine day vacation, with minimal stress and no real responsibilities other than to eat and relax, intimacy is still minimal. I have tried giving him supplements to boost testosterone as I worried that may have been the issue. He has stopped taking them after about a week of that.

It is still our first year in and I worry about what the rest of our lives would look like going forward and I worry about a dead bedroom scenario. Our longest stretch was almost a month and again we have been together barely a year. I would really like some advice on what has worked for other couples in scenarios like this one, or if it ended up working out at all? Thank you.