Hello all. For backstory, me and my girlfriend met about a year ago and began dating in early January 2024. It started out fine, but things quickly degraded into a big mess, sometime around March-ish... To summarize our/her behavior, it usually consists of her having a problem with something I did, sometimes for a good reason, but often not. For example, I am a skier for my university's team and spend several days a week at the mountain, as well as working out in the gym 3-4 times a week. She grew quite frustrated with this and became convinced I was doing this to talk to other women at these places, and care about what these women do/think about me. I told her this wasn't true, told her how much I cared about her, and asked her what was making her feel this way. She couldn't give me a reason other than "I just know how men are" and that I cannot be trusted. I have never ever given her any reason not to trust me, I had always been straightforward with her. She then went on 2-hour freak-out with me, and when I told her that she should take a quick walk or count down from 10-1 and take some breaths, she just got more and more upset. Mind you I made sure that these suggestions didn't come off rude or anything. Anyway, after a long time she 'sobered up', and realized her mistake and that she was mistreating me, and apologized. That was in March, and this has happened about 1-2 times per month since then. Another good example of this was 8 weeks ago; My phone was busted and the GPS pinpointing was wildly inaccurate, never more accurate than about a mile of my true position. She had known about this since it began, and we forgot about it. Then, I was at my buddy's house for game night, which I of course told her. My location said I was downtown at a bar, and she started getting angry. I sent a picture of us all sitting around the kitchen table, to prove I was where I said I'd be, and she of course didn't believe me. She canceled our plans after that, blew up at me over text, then ghosted me for a few hours. It ruined my night and made me feel like shit, and honestly made me quite angry at her. These things always follow the same pattern: I do something that upsets her, I let her say her side and listen respectfully, and try to have a regular talk with her, but she ALMOST ALWAYS reacts poorly and goes off the rails. It has made me feel angry, disrespected, resentful and unappreciated. And I will admit it has made me a worse partner now. I have less respect for her, I feel less committed, and l regularly ask my trusted friends if I should break up with her. I fear she is beginning to bring me into this pattern, as I have lost trust and respect for her. This culminated in an event last October when my team had our first meeting. There is a girl on the team who my gf has always disliked, I believe its because she makes my gf insecure. Unfortunately, this girl is both an officer, and friends with many of my friends on the team, but not me personally. This girl spoke to a group of my friends (including me) for a minute or 2 at the end of the meeting... My gf asked if she and I had spoken at the meeting, and I lied and said no, because she didn't really talk to me directly, and I did not want to deal with her freaking out at me for something like this when there is no reason. My gf somehow found out, and absolutely lost it. I was wrong to lie to my gf, and it was the only time I ever had, but I made it clear I only lied to her because I was scared of how she'd react. She yelled at me for a long time, I didn't really get a chance to explain my side till the end. Then the next day was her birthday, and I cooked her and her mother dinner and gave her gifts, which she just accepted with little thanks; like I owed her. Now, I feel resentful, angry, used, lied to, disrespected, and unloved. She still wants a relationship with me and believes I should just move on. I'm struggling to move on, it's been months of this, I don't have time to recover before the next argument happens. She finally went to therapy 2 weeks ago (id been suggesting it since April), and her therapist says that she has mistreated me and that I have been the main one doing the relationship work. I have begun to notice other women and kind of realized that in her current state, she does not deserve me. Outside of this relationship, I have been through hell the last year, I had ACL surgery, my dog died suddenly, all on top of engineering school. Yet I have managed myself, and have not harmed her the way she has harmed me. I don't want to sound egotistical or biased, yet it just feels like I have been a better partner than she has. Yet after all of this, I still have feelings for her and there are still moments of passion. But I just feel this cold resentment, like I will never love/respect her the same again. And now she is finally trying after almost a year to right her wrongs, yet so much damage was done so early in the relationship that I believe I won't ever feel the same, and I think she knows that now too. My one other relationship was 2 years and nothing like this, and I have no clue how to handle it...