I've been with my gf almost 3 years. She has childhood trauma, SA ptsd, and crippling anxiety. She also has no car, irl friends, or much spending money. I knew from day 1 our relationship would probably not work, but she was really quiet, sweet & go with the flow. All my exes were loud and constantly picking fights so I decided to try a change

In the beginning we had an open relationship so I could get my needs met but eventually it became too frustrating and we decided to be monogamous for a few months. Whenever I'd bring it up again she'd always say we weren't ready

So for about 2 years she never touched me, complimented me, or made me feel attractive. She would push away my hugs, kisses & sexual advances, and I felt so worthless. I begged and begged for affection and she would just watch me cry, tell me to be patient and stop bringing it up. She refused to go to therapy and my mental health & stability went severely downhill

A year in I decided to stop initiating, focus on myself and got heavily into the gym & meditation. That bought me another year and after 2 years of asking she finally started therapy and to make some progress with touch, but still nowhere near where I need.

By this point I had trained myself to be unattracted to her to avoid rejection. She also gained ~80lbs from binge drinking which didn't help. Her behavior when binge drinking (making out with girls, falling over, saying rude / embarrassing things, texting guys somewhat suggestively) also made me less attracted to her.

She cut the drinking way down but the resentment is still there. She's being more touchy, but the resentment of 2 years rejection is still there. Plus, although she acts somewhat sexual now, she still doesn't kiss and I have to do 100% of the movement in sex. It's depressing / frustrating

In addition, I tried to break up in August and she said she would kill herself so I reluctantly stayed. Now that resentment is there too. I tried to leave over text a week later and she shamed me for not doing it irl, came over & convinced me to stay

Whenever I try and talk about my resentments or issues like the suicide threat she avoids the conversation or just says "I'm sorry" or "mhm" to everything and it never gets deeper than that

I want to leave so bad but part of me is terrified of giving up a good thing. She is SO positive, always trying to lift my spirits, cooking me dinners, in a perpetual good mood, sending sweet texts, hiding cute notes around my house, etc.

She's not argumentative, we like the same music/interests/events, she lets me do things alone, doesn't nag, obviously loves me and supports me, and now she's finally interested in sex & physical touch (although still very much working on it)

This has definitely escalated since the breakup attempt, but even 2 years ago when she wouldn't touch me she usually tried her best to be sweet & supportive over text

I have so much built up resentment and desire to leave, but I also recognize how good her positive qualities are. I have never had a partner who was so supportive and didn't want to argue 24/7.

She loves me in a really pure way and has made me her whole world. How can I decide if the good qualities outweigh my resentments and if I should work on it?

TL;DR

Gf didn't touch me or compliment me for 2 years due to trauma, she refused therapy. She was also binge drinking, I became less and less attracted and my mental health went way downhill.

In August I tried to leave and she said she would kill herself so I stayed. She's finally drinking less, going to therapy, being a bit more touchy and definitely is really sweet & positive 24/7

She's always been supportive and has a lot of good qualities despite her mental health. How can I decide to try and get over my resentment to make it work?