I am conflicted, I want to move back to my home province. My bf can't move as his career is here. I want to move back for a few reasons, mainly financial and familia.

Simply put i cannot afford to live here anymore. The cost of living is so extreme and i am slowly going more into debt. My bf makes over 2x what i make. We first started off by splitting our shared exspenses 50/50. When i confided in him that i was not doing well fincially, he graciously agreed to amending how we split our shared exspenses. I now payless then half the rent but we still split groceries ect. evenly. Even with this new arrangement i am still slowly falling behind. I am the type of women who does not want to rely on a man for fincial support. I feel like it would be unfair to ask him to take on more costs. The place we live has a very high cost of living compared to the province we moved from. My bf would not be able to move back with me as his career is here and his career has no opportunities in our home province. My bf has said that i should find a different job that will pay me more. I have looked around and mostly everything would pay me the same or i am not qualified for the position. I also dont see the point as he has mentioned that his career might be moving us to a remote part of the country where the cost of living is also extremely high and the job opportunities are even less. He said that we would be moving in early spring so i dont see the point of switching jobs when we would be moving soon anyway. Plus the experience i am getting at my job is valuable and will eventually lead to higher pay. I have been thinking of getting a second part-time job to help out with my finances, but worry this will wear me down even more.

The familia reasons are that i miss my family dearly. I come from a large family and we are all very close with one another. My family is very important to me and i feel like i have missed out on alot of family milestones. I try to attend all the big ones but that contributes to me not being able to financially afford it here. My family is not well off fincially but they have helped with my travel costs at times. My sister whom i am very close with has gotten married and has had a baby, alot of which i feel i missed out on. I feel like i am missing out on knowing who my niblings are as i was very close and use to babysit my siblings children and have a great relationship with all of them. I have missed birthdays and big family holiday events. All of this i knew i would be missing out on when i moved and i had thought i would be okay being the distant aunt but i am not. I miss the emotional support that i would receive from my family. I miss being able to go over to my grandmother's house for coffee and card games. I didnt know it when i left but my family is my support and being so far from them is painful. My bf doesnt like most of my family and i had been okay with that because not everyone can get along all the time. I thought ppl were entitled to there own opinions and that it didnt have to effect my opinions on anyone. Now I am starting to think that this is not the right way to have a relationship. I think that people in a relationship should at the very least have a cordial relationship with each others families.

Background on our relationship. We have been together for about 7yrs, living with eachother for about 6yrs. We have had a very tenuous relationship with multiple breakups and makeups. We have a dog together that we both adore (but im willing to admit that she's more his than mine). and moved to this province about 3yrs ago for my bfs career. We just never seem to be able to resolve any of our issues. The last time we broke up was less than a year ago and i had moved out of the house for 4 months. That break up was the worst of them all. I wont go into detail but i thought it was the best decisions for both of our sanity. I could tell he was reaching his limit. We stayed in contact and went to couples counselling and worked on the relationship. Since getting back together we have had some rough fights. Our sex life has disappeared, i know this is my fault. I do not have the labido that i once had. Im exhausted all the time, and to be frank sometimes i feel like he doesnt even want me. I have for the longest time felt like i do not satisfy him, that i am gross and ugly. I dont know how to change the way that i have been feeling towards sex.

I am hoping to receive some unbiased opions on what i should do. If i do decide to move back home i dont know how to without it becoming a big blowup like it has in the past. I am hoping someone has advice that can help me make a decision. I dont think its fair to him that i constantly have one foot out the door, i dont know how to fix our relationship. He's an amazing man and I love him so much, we have been through alot in our relationship. I dont know if i should continue fighting and working on this relationship. I feel like i am bringing him down. Like i am a burden.