I have made a huge mess of my life and don’t know what to do.

I 19/F started dating my 23/M boyfriend 3 years ago.

when we first started dating we didn’t tell anyone because he said they wouldn’t want us together eventually my sister who a year older than me found out.

I begged her to not tell our parents they eventually found out and were extremely mad. it caused a lot of arguments and my boyfriend told me to stand up for myself tell them to make a choice to accept me with him or never talk to me again me and my parents never really go along much and lets just say in the last agument I left and went to my sisters who moved out a couple weeks before.

I stayed with her for about a week and the my boyfriend told me to move in with him he said it make more sense and that I wouldn’t be a burden to my sister by staying at her place I agreed and thought it was a good idea.

my sister was hesitant about it she kept asking me if I was sure it was a good idea since we only been dating a year a this point but I insisted it was a great idea.

after moving in with him it was ok for a little while but then I noticed he get angry very easily. one day I was cleaning up after food and drop a plate and it shattered on the floor he lost screaming and shouting about how I couldn’t do anything right that is was simple to just put the plate away.

he was screaming so much that I started getting scared and so I picked up my phone to text my sister he then grabbed my phone from my hand and threw against the wall making a hole.

I started crying at this point he apologise after an hour or 2 and said he doesn’t know what came over him that he been so stressed lately i never said anything and the next day I drove to my sister and explained what happened she was shocked and angry and wanted me to leave him I was think of breaking up with him to in that moment

but that evening when I was going to he had our place really romantic and he said he was so sorry and he would never do it again and begged me to give him another chance so i stupidly did

fast forward a few months I was going to a concert with my sister as she had gotten me tickets for my last birthday.

it was a singer my boyfriend hated so I didn’t go with him.

we had a great day but when I went home that evening he lost it screaming again and throwing everything saying that he couldn’t believe I would do that to him that I shouldn’t be going to concert without him because that acting like I’m single and I will cheat.

I swore to him I would never but he wasn’t listening to me so we were screaming at each other and suddenly he threw a punch at my face I was so shocked and started crying he seemed shocked to and started crying saying he is so sorry and that his ex had cheated on him and how it had left him with trust issues.

i left that night and stayed with my sister for a little bit.

she didn’t want me to go back but he came over and begged me to come back and I did

a few months passed and he said he got a job offer a few hours away and he had to move he asked to come with him I didn’t want to leave because all my family and friends are all here but he said we be so much happy if we moved away from everyone and got a fresh start.

I mentioned all this to my sister and she told me she didn’t think it was a good idea that it was to much a risk if I left because if we ever got into a disagreement I have nowhere to go.

I told her it been months since anything like that happened and I think he gotten over but she still thought I shouldn’t go

that evening when I came home my boyfriend asked me why I always ran to my sister about our business.

I said I didn’t but he said everytime we disagree about something I was always going to her that we need to have private discussions and I couldn’t always be running to her.

I apologise for making him feel like I was doing that and said I try not to as much.

we did end up moving away and that when everything went bad

about 2 weeks after moving I was looking for a job but he told me I didn’t need one that he will make enough money for the both of us.

I told him I need a job to occupy myself he got angry saying it looked like he couldn’t take care of me if I got a job and after a lot of arguing I eventually gave up the idea

another day after and disagreement because of something stupid he punched me in the stomach and slammed my head against a wall I rang my sister.

I hadn’t seen her as much since we left but we were still close my boyfriend saw I was calling and lost it he it grabbed my phone and smashed it on the floor.

he shouted so much screaming about how I need to keep our business private and that how can he trust me with anything if I kept crying to people about it he said he felt he couldn’t trust me.

about 3 week after this my sister came over because she was worried that I hadn’t been calling and she couldn’t get through to me.

I decided not to tell her what happened this time as it always made my boyfriend mad so I lied and said that I broke my phone by dropping it and hadn’t been able to call.

she ask was everything ok and I said yes my boyfriend came over to us and and said everything would be perfect if she kept out of our business. she said she just want to make sure I was ok and that if I was in danger it is her business.

my boyfriend then asked can I come into our bedroom for a moment so we can talk.

he told to make my sister leave and to tell her never come back that she doesn’t like him and that I need to chose now once and for all him or her.

I loved him and I told my sister she need to go but she knew something was wrong and kept asking is everything ok that was when my boyfriend told her to get out now.

she said no not until she knew I was ok i told her to leave that I didn’t need her help now my boyfriend was happy I said this he said after he was relieved I finally chosen him for once.

it eventually end in and argument with my boyfriend and me against my sister we both said some hurtful things and in the end she said she will go but if I ever need her at all don’t be afraid to call that she will always answer was so angry i said I will never need her again i saw the hurt in her eyes when I said this but she said nothing and left that was six months ago

now ever since that day everything been going bad.

my boyfriend sold my car so now I have no way to leave anymore.

he did get me a new phone but his phone plan is on.

it now nearly every day we argue and it always end with him beating me I tried to leave once and regret afterwards when he caught me because he beat me so bad I thought he was gonna kill me. last week he started choking me I thought I was gonna pass out from it.

i found out I was pregnant 3 days ago and I don’t know what to do I want to leave him for final this time because I realise everything that been happening now and I can’t bring a child into this type of life but I have nowhere to go.

i want to call my sister to apologise but I don’t know will she answer me since it been 6 months since the fight I have really messed up and I have no way out of it

(Small update) I have been read all of your comments I think I will try to give my sister a call but I have to wait until my boyfriend goes to work or leaves incase he hears me call