My bf (31M) and I (30F) have been dating almost 2 years and moved in with each other about 8 months ago. Things have gone so smooth, I’ve known him since high school and we rekindled and fell in love hard. Ever since earlier this month (right before the election) we started fighting a little. Certain areas of politics have always been a point of contention. Moved past it (or so I thought) and then my 30th birthday last weekend was even worse.

He left a birthday party that I spent months planning and had hand-selected 30 of my closest friends & family to attend. I also invited my bfs sister and fiancé who would be meeting my family for the first time. Additionally, I’m having ACL surgery in a week, so this was kinda my last hoorah before my recovery. It was a very special night for me. I did all the prep work for the party (pre ordering food, drinks, reserving patio of restaurant) myself, which wasn’t the main problem, I’m type A and on top of things and he just kinda flows. I’m the planner of the two of us. But in hindsight he wasn’t helpful during the prep and definitely not during the party, didn’t help me host (like basic bf stuff- help me pour shots for my friends, open the door when people got here, make sure I was having fun on my 30th birthday). He even had to go back and get his wallet because he realized we forgot it when we got to the restaurant.

All of this aside, the real issue began when he left my birthday party to go to a bar next door and watch the UFC fight. I didn’t notice he was gone until my dad asked and I called him. He lied and said he was in the bathroom. My dad was like “I was just in the bathroom and he wasn’t there”. I went into the boys bathroom like a crazy bitch lol to confirm, and sure enough…. I was livid. Called him he came running back, pretty drunk at this point, but it was done for me I was so beyond pissed. He had been gone for like an hour and a half damn near. My party was only 2-3 hours long. Anyway the night was ruined and i was too pissed to accept his drunk attempts to apologize so he ended up leaving completely without telling me and a dead phone.

TLDR - this has been the biggest fight we’ve ever been in, and the maddest I’ve ever been at a bf. He left our apartment to give us space and went to his parents. Today I learned that he told his parents everything but ALSO included (what I thought to be) our small fight we had before the elections. And told them “she puts pressure on me to have the same political beliefs as her”. He had never even told me he felt this way but he told his parents. I don’t love that he has involved them, but he says he has no one else to talk to. Which does make me sad, since I have loads of friends I confide in… but his parents?! And now they probably think I’m this radical gf who wants to stuff her beliefs down her bfs throat. And that wasn’t even the big fight that resulted him in going to his parents house anyways… help! How do I deal with this? Is it fair to ask him to not tell his parents about our fights if he doesn’t have a huge support system outside of them?