This is a bit of a read.

I have been dating my girlfriend for over 2 years now. We were friends for about 2-3 years before dating. After almost a year we decided to buy a home lace together and move in. We have always been great together, except for the last year. Constantly arguing and a lot of the arguments are started over little to nothing. To add to the story, I work out of town/ shift work. When this occurred we were on FaceTime together. She had Made herself tea and our conversations was normal. Until my dog placed is nose under her arm nudge for a pet. This motion caused her to spill some tea on her Selve burning her. Another clarification that we both own dogs and a cat She takes care of my dog while I'am away. So after hearing her scream and call my dog an idiot. I had asked what happened and she explained and I asked if she was Ok and replied "yeah". Now this was in the moment of her getting up and walking to the bathroom to run cold water on the burn. When she returned and we started talking again, silence for a bit. As I knew she was angry, so now this is were I make a mistake and say a stupid comment "that water would be hot" and laughed at little. She wasn't impressed by this and back to silence. So instead of sitting in silence, being tired from work and have I chest infection. I said "goodnight" and replied "by" or "night" and hung up. About 5 mins after I get a message. The quick version is my response pissed her off. I should have asked her again if she was ok as she didn't hear it the first time. That its common sense to ask again. Than continued about how my response was shit and boring. Obviously it's hot and how I could have used better words like scorched or cooked ya. Than said "there's degrees to burns you know" and " was there nothing going on in your brain". Than tell me I "could have gone the other way and making a joke about it" instead of a boring as response. Continues to tell it feels like a "lack of trying and something you'd say to shut someone up and move". The end she tells me she needs "more stimulating conversations and normal does not do it for me.

So I stayed up for hours after when I should have been sleeping. Trying to figure out how to reply.

Now a little back ground, is we have had conversations about my poor communication a couple times. I have agreed I will do my best to work on it, but have asked to her to help out. As it takes 2 for good communication and not to judge or nit pick when I do attempt to stand up for myself. To try and understand were I'm coming from and my feelings on the situation. Now I will admit I'm not the strongest with words and grammar. As she his told me some of the words I use are not proper English and cause misunderstanding. Yes I could see how this could be a possibility and why I have agreed to work on it.

So the next day I had a doctors appointment. This is all happening over snap as I'm working from home. I Didn't reply to this response as I was angry and frustrated. As well wasn't 100% sure how to deal with it. I admit I could have least said I was upset and I will answer when my heads clear.

Later that day I get a message from. Say "how she could have worded this better and concered I don't talk back". That she was out of line and she would never let her partner talk to her that way". Continues to tell me to communicate my feelings better and how she should have to coach me on how to communicate. Again tells me it's something I should work on. She continues to tell me right now she has no other issues in our relationship, besides the conversation. She wants more jokes and questions. For me to stick up for myself and if I can't do this "she's afraid it will continue to happen". I take this she doesn't plan anything n putting effort in to change. "I already know how you feel and that your a good person". " It's the lack of saying and the quality of our conversation is bland". Continues about how she worded it before was "wrong and it not that she thinks I don't care". The last bit is how she wants deeper conversation and it doesn't have to be serious all the time but funny. Tells me to "elaborate on points don't just agree with me or skim over things". She asked how I'am feeling.

So now I finally reply, after a couple hours of figuring out how and what I wanted to say.

I thank for saying this. I hadn't answered because I was angry and frustrated. I could have said this sooner, I'll admit. Didn't want to say things without taking some time to think. I feel judge and nitpick what I say or trying to say. Instead of asking what I mean, why I think that or want to do something a particular way. I fee this would be beneficial to our conversations and would give me the opportunity to elaborate. I will work quality and deeper conversations. What are your thoughts?

Her reply Why don't you just defend yourself then instead of not saying anthing. If I didn't get what your saying then just elaborate. That's what everyone else's does. Some of the wording you use is not proper English so it causes misunderstanding. I've told you this before.

I haven't replied and again not sure how to answer. I feel like she's just dodging my feelings and doesn't want to put effort into to learn how to make our communication styles fit and work together. If that makes sense.

Also this wasn't really an Issue until little of the last year and all of a sudden reads into every word I say.

I do really love her and we share a lot of hobbies and interest. Get along well for the most part and sex life is good. Really want to improve this part of our lives.

Her and her dad have a history of arguing and disagreeing.

I'm a bastared child and my parent argued and fought lots when I was younger.

I have never had communication issues with family members or friends. Or really the feeling to defend myself with these people. Besides my Dad every now than when I was younger.

Not sure what to do?