Description: I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months. Recently, she confessed that whenever we kiss with her eyes closed, she sometimes sees her ex in her mind. This came as a shock because she initially mentioned she didn’t like lip kisses, but now I understand the real reason.

Her previous relationship was serious and lasted 3 years, so I know it may take time to fully move on. She puts a lot of effort into our relationship, and I genuinely believe she’s committed to me. I personally think she has moved on, but this situation makes me question things. She insists it doesn’t happen every time and reassures me that she’s over him. She also told me that she feels bad for me that this happens while we’re making love, which has added to my mixed feelings of insecurity and confusion.

Question: How can I address this situation in a healthy way? What steps can I take to manage my feelings of insecurity while also supporting her as she works through her past? I’d appreciate advice from anyone who has experienced something similar or has insights on managing these types of emotions in a relationship.

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 5 months, who had a serious 3-year relationship with her ex, admitted she sometimes pictures him when we kiss with her eyes closed. She puts effort into our relationship, says she’s moved on, and feels bad that this happens, but I’m struggling with insecurity and unsure how to move forward.