Myself, 23F is with 25M. We have been in a long distance relationship for almost 5 years now. We did break up for little over a year. (We broke up due to us fighting and drifting apart. He broke up with me.) 5 months after we were broken up, I met someone else and we got into a friends with benefits type relationship (23M) We got very close and I started to catch feelings, and so did he. However, 4 months into this relationship my ex came back into my life by us texting eachother to catch up. My FWB relationship knew about my ex and that I was not over him yet. Hence why we decided to do a fwb relationship. He just got out of a relationship as well. I decided to end the FWB relationship and go see my ex, and a month later we got back together. I was still not over my ex 25m so it was easy for us to get back together because that's what I thought I wanted. He started asking me if I was with someone else or did anything sexual while we weren't together. I was honest and said yes to both. He began treating me completely different, almost like I disgusted him. He seemed to have lost some respect for me l guess. Part of me felt awful for hurting him and another part of me was angry that he felt that way, because we weren't together I really could do whatever I want and it's not like I got into the fwb relationship right after, it was over 5 months after we broke up. It's been a year since l've told him and we got back together. Things haven't been the same since we got back together. Every single day he brings up the fact that l let a guy "use me". It makes me feel really bad about what I did with someone else. I don't know what to do anymore I don't know if there's anything I can do to make it better, I have reassured him and told him I just want him. Like I said before sometimes it makes me angry because again we weren't together but I also don't want to invalidate how he feels towards it. I'm just tired of hearing about it and I am tired of being put down for it. Our relationship is awful right now because we keep fighting about it amongst other issues. This is something that just gets brought up every day. I am drained and I feel like I am a bad person. I just don't know what to say tr him anymore. Sometimes I feel it's best if I end things him because it never gets better between us only worst with everything else going on between us.