Six months back, I picked up my bags and moved to a new country. In this time, I have spoken to many people and befriended a few. As a socially awkward person, this has not been easy. However, the thorniest thing I have yet far faced is my dynamics with this neighbour.

I first saw her at a party that one of my other neighbours organised. We were standing next to each other awkwardly and smiling. Eventually, she left and I did not think much of it—until I did. After she left, I picked up courage and spoke with people and it sort of struck me that she was the only person I hadn’t spoken with that day. This is how my interest in her began. She was just beautiful and could only talk academia, which was intensely appealing to me. I figured this out from her conversation with my flatmate, which I overheard.

However, for many months after, I did not see her. Eventually, I ran into her at the university. I thought she would wave or something in recognition but she did not. After a few torturous hour, I awkwardly walked up to her and introduced myself. Since I knew she had an academic bent, I broached this with her. However, my area of expertise is different from hers and most of what she said went over my head. What struck me most was how awkward she was—she was visibly shivering. Eventually, I excused myself and left.

Once again, I did not see her for a long time after that. Maybe, I did not see her for at least two months. When I did, I spoke with her briefly and she seemed much more relaxed. Once again, it was mostly academic. However, while discussing this, she said she was “also shy.” This was a few weeks back and I have not spoken to her since. I did see her at a talk but got too anxious to talk to her. Heck, this talk was on her area of expertise and I was mostly there to see her—I did not understand most of what the speaker said.

Briefly, that is the background. I like her, and she lives a wall away from me. However, I see very little of her and there are very few things that we share in common—except the dryer in the basement.

What makes this a little more complicated is that my flatmate knows her and may not like her—her political views being at odds with his and mine. He says she makes good food, but warned me that I should be careful talking politics with her. Of course, he does not know I like her and I have been wondering if I should tell him. I do not know what he can do, but it seems like he knows her more than I do. Is that something I should explore?

If not, how do I approach her? Right now, I see her very rarely and most of our conversations are brief and academic. I struggle to take it out of this realm and most of her work is completely beyond my comprehension, which makes even the academic conversation quite elementary. Heck, I think she knows more about my area than I do about hers.

Any advice is appreciated. Many thanks!