I (20NB) have had like no relationship experience so far, really. Nothing bad, however it is important because I'm not familiar with a lot of stuff and just don't really know how this stuff usually goes lol.

Kind of recently, I've met an older person (33NB) at an event and we kind of hit it off pretty well, we have a lot in common and we're into a lot of the same things which we can talk about for ages. At one point or conversations turned suggestive and that was fine, I realized okay, maybe I like this person. Ended up hearing from them that they like me, and I also confessed to liking them. However, considering we live too far away from each other, we can't really go out or anything, so it was mostly all online and we just had fun and talked a bunch for weeks.

As time went on I realized there were quite a lot of things I was bothered by, especially them mentioning how much they fantasize about what we could do, them mentioning how we do have a weird gap, and then also hearing a lot about their long term previous relationship (especially, being compared to their ex, really). Like, they would tell me they haven't felt like this for a while, they is strange and new, they're really invested etc. They would also always ask how I felt about them, and at one point I just started to feel like I'm being coerced into answering some things and pushed into some convos that I don't want to have at all, but withholding my own opinion or response felt like it was unfair because, well, if they can be honest about their feelings apparently I do as well.

Basically very overwhelming all in all, it kind of felt like I was being put on a pedestal as well. I don't really have the time or energy to bother with someone that's kind of stuck in their own head and quite insecure, but we do get along quite well and there's lots of chemistry. One day they mentioned to me how I'm being hot and cold, and I acknowledge that I am; however, it's really because I don't know what to make of this anymore. I've been told I should take responsibility for my actions or the way I make them feel, but it seems like often they see something as way more than it actually is, and I'm starting to just feel like who I am as a person isn't really what they need either.

We tried talking about it, but they want to start over with me but I just don't see all this the same anymore. I don't feel the way I did before, and it feels like there are so many specific things that are incompatible but I'm really the only one who is making a deal out of it. And I don't know if I should still give it a try, or to just dismiss this in the first place and just keep this strictly friendly and more distant.

I just feel really unsure, and I don't know what would be best to do here. Any advice is appreciated!

P.S. wasn't sure which sub to ask about this in but this seemed like the best fitting one, so I apologize in advance if it may not fit!