TL;DR: I am full-time employed and earn a decent salary. My girlfriend has been a freelance for quite some time. She earns her money through several ways, but our incomes combined is not enough for the future we want.

Background: - I am full-time employed and aim to go back to my home country to live with her. Since the living cost in the two countries are totally different, I would earn much less. In the worst case scenario, we think that I would earn 60% less of what I am currently earning. - She is a freelancer and earns less than I do (like 3-4 times less depending on months). She has some investment here and there but not substantial enough to make a difference. She has been a freelancer for quite some time. - We are living in different countries (short flight apart) and we go back and forth to visit one another. I would sometimes pay for her flight ticket to visit me and partially sponsor her lifestyle here. - Our goal is I move back to our country and we would get married within 2-3 years, buy a house, and live happily ever after, etc. What happened: - I have known for a while about her dream wedding plan. She has eyes on one particular venue and style, etc. Her dreamy plan is quite extravagant. - I know that we plan to get a house. - I know about my financial plan in the future when I move back to my country. - I expressed my concern about our financial plan and our goals. She was upset by how come we don’t have enough money to do the stuffs we want, but she also didn’t know what to do. - I did ask her some time before about her getting a full-time job where she can earn twice as much she is earning now. She simply said that she is doing this because now she will have time for me to go back and forth. But now the time for me to go back is quite near, she doesn’t lift any fingers on trying to earn more. - When she was upset, then she just pouted. I was shocked by this. I simply pointed out the reality that when I go back, I may not be able to treat her the same way I have treated her before, as I will have to save a lot of money prr month because of our goals. I, by no means, think that I won’t treat her anything, but it will simply become less. - Now I am hoping that when I go back for real, things will change. However, I do know that that could be worse when she refuses to change.

I am now super stressed out.

It’s not that I don’t have enough money to get by. I do, but not enough for our future. I feel frustrated that I am essentially a single earner in our party. Every morning I have to wake up early to work, while she could sleep in. After work, I have to take up part-time teaching to earn everything I can.

I also know that the reality could be a little better than I planned, like I could earn a little more when I actually move back, I may not have to pay rent, etc. I know that now I am stressed out about the future that may or may not happen.

It’s not that she doesn’t try. She also tries hard too, but being a freelance at her age doesn’t get her anywhere. The reality is we will have to adjust our lifestyles and goals, should we decide not to change our employment statuses.

Many thoughts on this have been eating away at me. How do I tackle this thought without worrying her? How do I remain happy? How do we plan our future ahead?