My ex and I split almost a year ago. We were married for 18 years and have two teenagers. We both come from broken homes with very toxic parents (think, Mom from Carrie/Mother Gothel (minus the kidnapping) levels of toxic). Because we were both raised in conservative Mormon households, we were married quickly and very young. We dated for a month before we were engaged and married within four months. We had both our kids by the time we were 24. So, we have some history.

We stuck it out for a very long time, but over the last several years of our marriage, it became very apparent that we were nothing more than roommates who had sex once or twice a year. Things got dicey as I grew up and realized I had no desire to be Mormon or associate with any religion at all. One of our children is queer, and even before she came out, I was very much done with the homophobia, racism, and sexism. It's a lot harder to walk away than a lot of people think, especially when you're emotionally manipulated into thinking you and your kids are going to hell if you do. I was able to finally say, Fuck it and step away. He hasn't. We also had many other problems, and as one would expect from two people who barely knew each other, committing to marriage.

When we decided to split, we agreed to be friendly and try to have a good relationship. We both come from broken homes, and neither handled it well. We knew we couldn't put our kids through the same thing. Our youngest has moderate learning disabilities and will likely need to live with one of us long-term. So, going no contact isn't an option. Plus, despite it all, we still know each other's families and the drama that seems to follow, so we catch up a lot when talking about the kids.

We're never getting back together—that ship has sailed—but we will be in each other's lives for a long time. I'm ready to start dating again, but I worry that this is going to be an issue. I see so many posts on here about people cheating with their ex, but that's just never going to be an issue with us. Am I doomed to a life of singlehood because I get along so well with my ex? (I should note he does live quite far away, so it's all phone co-parenting and chatting.)

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