So my boyfriend (M23) and I (F25) have been together for four years in two days. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but recently everything has been pretty good. I am a business owner and travel every week and he is a college student and works nearly full time at a golf course in turf care management. This year has been extremely difficult for us because my grandmothers (F78) were both diagnosed with cancer. One has a more aggressive form (colorectal) and moved in with us in September to receive treatment in our city since she lives an hour away. My boyfriend and I live with my parents and have for three years. We have a very tumultuous relationship with them. My grandmother moving in put a HUGE strain on all of us - namely me because I was providing in-home care all day every day. My parents barely did anything and my bf helped me quite a bit. My parents nearly got divorced towards the beginning of her moving in, we got into a fight with them that has effectively ended our relationship with them, and then he and I had an incident that very nearly ended our relationship. She finally moved out toward the end of October and we have slowly been trying to resume our lives. He is very stressed with school, with getting over such a major transition in our lives, and with traveling with me every week helping with events. He’s exhausted and I get it. In the last few weeks, he’s started getting very angry about helping with my businesses and says he doesn’t want to do it anymore. He’s also sick of living with my parents and regularly expresses this. Since my goal is to buy a house next year, I want to save as much as I can, which means not hiring help every time I travel and just using him. I also don’t want to move out until we’re ready to buy, since renting can eat through a down payment fast. I will be purchasing the home and he and I will live in it together. I want him to be happy but we’re in a tough spot - emotionally with my grandmothers, financially with buying a house, and physically being with my family constantly.

His birthday was this Friday and he went to his parents house to hunt all weekend. He just got home and did not seem happy to be here at all. I called this out and we had a huge fight. He immediately brought up how my family is the source of all his problems and that he’s back in “problem central” being here with me and my parents. Toward the end of us fighting, he said “I should’ve just stayed there and not come back”. I also caught a text from his mom saying that he should look into renting an apartment where his dad works throughout the week, which seemed really odd. I mean, if you planned this, wouldn’t you talk to your girlfriend about it?! I’m at a loss because I want him to be happy but since I’m the financier on buying the house, I really want to be more stable before we move out AND before I hire someone for such a trivial role. Any thoughts or advice?