So my wife was receiving messages from a guy that were very flirtatious and sexual in context, I was very upset but I didn’t have the courage to say anything at the time I am not a very outspoken person, I lack a lot of self confidence, and I was afraid that if I pushed the matter it would drive her to him more often. At the time I wished she respected me enough and just blocked him. Now that we are separated I told her that this was emotional cheating. She and her (our) friends say that because I didn’t say anything at the time it doesn’t count.

She has been ongoing texting, chatting, and had him over into our house several times over the last three years.

I know at the time I wish I stood up for myself, but I had no self respect and a lot of other problems going on. Financially I was trying to pull up my half of everything, and I couldn’t make ends meet. Which in turn ment I couldn’t spend a lot of time with her as I worked several part time jobs.

She would complain about it, all the time. However when we did watch a movie or spend time together she would text him. Is this emotional cheating?

Love to know your thoughts. I will try to give more context where I can.

Edit: he was over at our house without me at home, I have never met the guy.

Edit: more context.

She said he was drunk at the times when he would text the sexting messages. I have always felt that drunkenness shows our real thoughts….

I don’t know if I should think of this as cheating or disrespectful to our relationship.

Edit 3: I am not seeking anything in the divorce, I guess I just wanted to know if I should be justified in feeling hurt.