Hey Reddit, I’m hoping for some advice because I’m(21M) feeling really stuck in my relationship. I’ve been with my girlfriend(24F) for a few months, and when we started, it was amazing, we have lots of chemistry, shared interests, and we were really close. But now, I’m starting to question if we’re really compatible long-term, and I feel like I'm drowning in the emotional weight of everything going on.

For context, my girlfriend has been dealing with some serious mental health struggles, including depression and possible signs of BPD. Lately, things have gotten more intense because of issues with her family that have left her feeling overwhelmed. She's been caught up in a tough family situation, and it's starting to really take a toll on her.

It’s been tough because all of this stress spills over into our relationship. She’s been more withdrawn and sometimes lashes out in frustration, even though I know it's not really directed at me. She’s said things like, “I get upset even though it’s not your fault,” and I get it’s a lot for her, but it’s still hard to deal with.

I'm really patient with her and there when needed. I even give possible advice and guidance in helping her manage her thoughts, but she sometimes brushes it off with "theres no point" or "idk, i just wanna die". I know that these responses are partly due to her conditions and situation, but it still hurts me in a way that makes my efforts feel futile, especially when it becomes an every other day kind of thing.

Not long ago, we had a big miscommunication, mostly fueled by my own insecurities. We managed to work through it, but now, her ongoing struggles make it feel like we’re walking on eggshells. I think she’s feeling guilty for leaning on me so much, and she’s mentioned feeling like she's treating me as her therapist even though that's not her intention.

Another big issue is our differences in goals and attitudes toward the future. I’ve been raised with a strong focus on career and independence, and I know where I want to go. She, on the other hand, feels lost and doesn’t have a clear direction. While I don’t expect her to have it all figured out, her uncertainty and lack of motivation are starting to worry me. I just want us both to have stable, fulfilling careers, but I’m not sure if she feels the same drive.

I care for her, and I know she’s going through so much, but I feel like I’m becoming her main emotional support. She has a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and I’m terrified of what might happen if I left. Especially since she has no actual friends and no one else to talk to. But honestly, this relationship has been emotionally exhausting, and I feel like I’m losing myself.