My friend is in one of those toxic relationships. She’s been with him for going on 3 years in February. Long story short they are a match made in hell. All she does is go through ups and downs with him like she would be crying over him to then being in a euphoria state of happiness. I love my friend but this relationship is a complete mess.

She also has constant financial issues. Her parents are in the U.S. undocumented so it was always hard for her growing to have financial stability. She works full time but blows her money on her loser boyfriend. Once when we were out she bought him a $150 jacket from Marshall’s because he was cold and we had to drop it off to him just for him not to even thank her. She always sends him money to buy lunch when he’s at work or she’ll DoorDash food to him. Plus she’s always going shopping for herself and burns out her money. She has maxed out many of credit cards and she’s just an all around mess when it comes to money. I think she’s blowing all her money on him.

Even for his birthday last year she took him to the next town over from her to a hotel, bought him loads of gifts like jewelry and some type of video game stuff, cake, and they went out to dinner. I did the math of everything and she spent close to $4,000. She continues to spend so much money on him when never having money.

Last night she told me that for his birthday since he’s going to be 30 it has to be big. She’s flying him down to Florida, getting them Disney passes for a day, hotel, dinner, and she wants to fly his parents out to Florida. If my calculation is correct that could all come to $5,000-$6,000. For my fiancés 30th I took him out to dinner, got him an Apple Watch, and we had a cake. But then again we were in South Korea everything is cheaper than here in New York. He was really happy tho! He enjoyed his birthday so much. She also said that she’s buying him a Louis Vuitton ring. I told her on top of everything she’s doing for him that’s a lot. I suggested she just spends around the same amount he did for her birthday and she said “he didn’t buy me anything”. I told her “that’s your answer to get him nothing”. She then seemed very silent and upset like I can tell by her face.

I have been with my fiancé since 2022. Currently I’m in New York and he’s in South Korea. Since we’re doing long distance he flies me to visit him in South Korea. So I get to visit him 4 times a year. My fiancé told me he is taking me to Osaka in December and Tokyo in August. I was so excited and told my friend. She didn’t really seem to react which I took as normal because she doesn’t react that much when I share stuff with her. During our outing we were shopping and I found a Kyoto sweater. I was so excited and told her that I have to get it she then said “…..ya my man told me he’s taking me to Japan after I finish nursing school”. I was like “that’s nice!” but really he doesn’t even like leaving the school so I can’t see that happening.

When we were shopping I was telling her I don’t know what to get my fiancé for Christmas. I just listed a bunch of ideas and jewelry was one of them she then threw it back to me and said “you know jewelry is expensive”. I said “really it varies in price it doesn’t have to be”. It was dropped after that and she didn’t say anything.

I hate watching her spend so much money on this guy. She can’t even finish college because of finances and all her money is going to this guy. My fiancé said that she could have saved thousands of dollars if she wasn’t with her boyfriend. I don’t know if I should just leave her be and if it’s my fault for giving my advice.